Ready To Run // h.s

thirty seven

*JUST A WARNING FOR THE CHAPTER: does contain some abusive themes*

Mia Miles

  I didn't know what I had been expecting. Did I really think Harry was just going to take me in with open arms and listen to what I had to say? Maybe I was so blinded by the desperate need to escape Matthew that I forgot how much Harry really hated me. I was stupid, I was foolish, and now there was hardly any hope left for me to ever get back together with Harry. I only hoped that Harry's bandmate, Niall, delivered the document that I had given him. That document was the last strand of hope that I had before I completely gave up. 

  The ceremony had dragged on for far too long. The entire time it lasted Matthew had his hands all over me. One hand was always firmly rested on my thigh, or wrapped around my waist, or around my shoulders. His touch was enough to make me afraid for what would come later, when we were back home and by ourselves, because I knew what I had said about him in our trailer had made him upset, even if he tried his hardest not to show it. 

  There was a brief moment in the night when I caught a glimpse of Harry. He was no longer with Niall, instead he was standing next to a middle aged man, engaged in a conversation and laughing. Maybe he felt my eyes wandering over toward him or maybe he just happened to look in my direction, but without warning he was turned toward me and our eyes were locked. Before I could blush and look away, Matthew was pulling me toward a group of his friends to introduce me to. It would be impossible for me to forget that desperate look of longing that Harry's eyes held. Couldn't he see them in mine, too?

  There was an after party following the gala, but Matthew decided that we would skip it and leave. I was disappointed that I wouldn't be able to see Harry anymore and scared that Matthew would do something to me. His grip on my hand was intensely tight as we wove back through the red carpet, skipping any questions and politely telling interviewers that we couldn't stay long. It probably looked like we were rushing out of the venue for other reasons, but it was really just to come home and endure more abuse from my husband.

  The drive home was completely silent. I wanted to jump out of the car and run back to the after party and demand that Harry would listen to me, but instead I sat in the back of a limo with my entitled husband. He didn't provide me with any reassurance, he didn't say a word to me, and that scared me even more. We had sent every staff member home when we had left for the gala, so nobody would be able to save me. 

  "I'm disappointed in you, Mia," Matthew sighed. "I give you everything, and then you make a fool out of me in front of an audience while we were getting ready. What was that all about?"

  "I didn't mean it, I wasn't thinking." I was skittish now, just trying to talk myself out of the situation. 

  "You weren't thinking," Matthew chuckled. "You really think that's a good enough excuse?" 

  "Shouldn't it be?" I cried out, exasperated. "You keep expecting me to be loving to you and want to have a relationship with you but you treat me horribly! Can't you see that nothing will ever work out between us unless you treat me nicely?"

  "Respect is all I ask for, Mia," Matthew said. 

  "Respect is a two way street, Matthew."

  A half an hour later, I sat by myself in the dim light of our enormous kitchen with a bag of peas held to my now swollen, black eye. The first thing Matthew had done when we entered the house was briefly look at me before hitting me straight in the eye. I didn't even have time to think about it or process what he had done, because right afterward he retreated to our room without giving me a single look.