Innocent Lester | p.l.

ⓘ

If dreams were able to come to life after you wake, it wouldn't be different for me. She was still beside me. When I fell asleep, when I was asleep, and when I woke up.

I've been staring at her for ages, it felt like. I was so tempted to move the hair out of her face so when she awakes she can see clearly. But then I might wake her, and I'll be the first thing she sees. I wonder what she'll say when she sees me in the morning.

I had forgotten that I took her to my dorm. I dreamed of her and I here, without Dan. We just talked. About everything. Death came to mind and she just laughed about it. Love interests came to mind and I laughed about it. I caught myself holding her hand and staring into her eyes and everything around me went low and faded out.

Then I woke up. And she was still beside me.

Dan stepped out of the loo and pointed towards the front door of our dorm with his thumb. "Should I go get some breakfast," he whispered.

I looked at her and back at him. "When do you think she'll wake?"

He shrugged. "It's only... like, eight."

"Eight?"

He shrugged again. "Seven-forty."

I looked back at her, still asleep in my bed. Will she wake while we're gone? I turned back to Dan and sat up, rubbing my face. "Aren't we going to Starbucks later with everyone," I mumbled.

"Starbucks? Yeah. But..." he sighed. "The market. They have cookies. And little donut holes," he whined. I laughed silently as I removed the duvet from my body of yesterday. Climbing out of the bed, I looked back at her. Peaceful.

"Yeah, let me go with you."

☼

"Okay, I get it," I argued, walking down the hallway towards our dorm room. "I'm pathetic."

"You're not pathetic, Phil," Dan protested against my statement. "If anything, I'm pathetic."

"Dan..."

"I go around to try and find guys who are low enough to come home with me and have sex!" I shook my head at him. He wasn't necessarily a pathetic person. He doesn't seem to be chasing one particular person. And that person has no idea. And he wouldn't know what to do if they did find out. So he doesn't say anything because he's terrified of what lies behind that persons mouth. What they'd say. How rude they'd be.
That fear? My fear? That's pathetic.

"Dan, don't ever think of yourself like that," I insisted. "You're an amazing person who deserves something right and amazing."

He rolled his eyes. "I hate you."

Reaching our dorm, we enter it to find her awake.
My lips parted, about to greet her, but couldn't. Why couldn't I say a simple hello?

"Morning," Dan greeted instead. I shut my mouth and just waved her way. She waved back.

"I don't-..." she rubbed her eyes. "I'm not hungover, but I feel... tired."

"You weren't crazy. Just fell asleep was all." There Dan goes, talking up the conversation. "That's Phil's bed."

She nodded slowly, taking in the newly information.

"Do you remember anything?" I asked. I haven't even said hello.

"Yeah. I remember everything. I remember falling asleep and I remember being carried..." her eyes rolled back. "I've just got a headache."

Dan held up the box of donut holes we bought and she nodded, getting up from my bed. "I'm sorry if I was any trouble," she shook her head, leaning against the desk we rested the donuts on.

"No, not at all," I insisted.

"Phil just had to carry your fat ass here, he could have left you," Dan smiled, opening the breakfast box. "I'm joking."

"Thanks," she chuckled. "What's the plan today, because I kind of don't want to go to class?"

"I'm going," Dan said, shoving the glazed bread into his mouth. "Gotta get my money's worth." I laughed at that. "No, but we're going to Starbucks."

"With the guys?"

"Mhm."

She hadn't woken up to see me. She hadn't wondered if anything went on. She hadn't thought about me. She hadn't questioned why she slept in my bed or was going on with me and her.

I'm guessing it's best I don't think about it too much; but who am I kidding. I'm going to think about it a lot and I'm going to stress.

We ended up not finishing the breakfast Dan had bought, as we received text messages asking if we were ready for Starbucks.

She didn't walk with me like she did last time. She was more near Daniel, which I understand. You wake up in a guys bed and all the sudden things are weird, right?

Seems to be right.

She ordered a tea to calm her headache as I just got a coffee. Dan, hot chocolate.

The early coffee trip was nothing to me because I barely spoke. We barely spoke. And I thought what's the point of even being here if I'm not going to talk to you?

Was it worth it? Bringing her to my dorm? Having her wake up in my bed? Me being able to see her beautiful self after I wake up while jeopardizing our friendship; was it worth it, Phil?

Just a tad.