Finding Home: A Captain America FanFic

Chapter 1.

 I sat staring at the man, frozen in time. Waiting to be brought out just to be forced to kill again. This was how I spent most of my time. Looking at him, listening to his thoughts. Even frozen he dreamed. He always dreamed about Steve.

I remember when I first saw him here. I was five, and while I don't remember a lot of that time in my life, I do remember that.

I was raised in Hydra. I don't really know anything about where I came from before, or why I have the abilities I do. All I know is I'm different, and I don't remember a time when I wasn't. That's why I'm here. Telepathic is the word they use. I can read minds, and project my thoughts into others. I can also fiddle around in peoples heads a little. Not much. I can leave suggestions, and depending on how strong the person is, they may or may not act on them. I can help people find memories they've lost. Plus I've found, that I can help protect peoples memories from being taken from them all together. Keep them hidden and protected.

I have never known parents, but sometimes the people at Hydra were maybe what you'd call nurturing. I was playing hide and seek with some of the low-level grunts. A security guard or two, one of the lab techs. As I ran down a hall looking for somewhere to hide I heard him.

No, that's not the right word. He was frozen. He wasn't speaking. Felt him? His thoughts intruded on mine. Visions of a world I had never known. Vintage cars, and girls with bright red lips. And Steve. Steve who looked smaller than most of the other people in his thoughts. Who kept wanting to fight everybody. Steve who this man loved. Completely unconditionally. It was not something I'd ever felt from anyone before.

I sat in the room, pressed up against this metal tube housing him with my eyes closed and just listened in. Let his love for his friend just wash over me.

Pierce found me. The chances of that happening were pretty low. I did know who he was at that age. At least I think I did, but he was not someone I personally had a lot to do with. He'd asked me what I was doing there. I told him I was listening to Bucky.

Bucky. That's his name. It's not what we call him. We call him 'The Winter Soldier'. Or nothing. But Steve. Steve calls him Bucky. In his memories when he hears the name he feels serenely happy. It washes over me, and I long to feel that kind of happiness too.

Pierce was angry at first. Angry that his weapon was experiencing human emotions. He tried to hide it from me. He should have known better really. No one can hide anything from me. I can read every single thought that passes through their head. From the passing thoughts of needing coffee to the deep down depraved ones, they would never act on.

He then realized he could use me. I remember being terrified.

Pierce had let Bucky out of his chamber. The soldier had stepped forward dazed and confused. I had reached up and touched his metal hand. It was still cold from the cryogenic chamber. When I touched him, the plates had shifted against each other and he looked down at me. A smile just briefly passed over his face, and then they had started to say the words.

Сильное желание
Проржавевший
Семнадцать
Рассвет
Печь
Девять
Доброкачественная
Возвращение домой
Один
Грузовой автомобиль

His face changed. He uttered the words 'готов подчиняться' - Ready to comply. He was no longer Bucky. He was the Winter Soldier. Pierce had me go over his mind, tell him if I could still see those memories. Of course, I could. They hadn't gone, they were just buried, but I was a child. I didn't know I had to lie about that.

They then tortured him and told me to wipe that part of him away as they did. I cried the whole time, but I defied them. I wasn't taking that away from him. I learned how to lie that day. After I had made them believe he was completely blank, they made me give him the orders. They made a five-year-old girl order a full grown man to go out and murder some people.