Finding Home: A Captain America FanFic

Chapter 6.

Weeks passed. I started to be able to feel Bucky more and more often. I wasn't able to push back into him again. I was afraid to try too hard to be honest. That one time was scary. I had never just been in someone before. I wasn't sure that I wanted to develop that side of my abilities.

It got to the point that I almost constantly had these feelings that were completely unrelated to what was happening around me. I was having trouble telling which were my feelings and which were his. I kept my mind open for him though. I wanted to find him. This was our best chance.

Steve pulled away from me after that night. He was having trouble being around me at all. The reminder of the connection I had with Bucky just pushed all the guilt he had over losing him, and falling for me to the surface. He was experiencing some pretty strong survivors guilt too. I didn't know how to help him.

I started spending more and more time around Thor and Natasha. Thor because when I was him it was quiet, and he was kind. Natasha because she understood me. I needed that most of all.

It was late. Natasha, Clint, Thor and I had stayed up well after most of the others. They were drinking and being all melancholy and the baby was keeping me up. I had tried jogging around to put it to sleep, but it was restless. Bucky was up where ever he was, and I was getting a lot of fear from him today. I eventually gave up and lay down on the couch.

"The child still won't calm?" Thor asked.

"Nope." I sighed. "Guess I'm not sleeping tonight."

"May I feel?" He asked. I nodded and he placed a hand on my stomach. "You need to rest little one." He said to my belly.

"Daisy, can I ask you something personal?" Nat said she was a bit drunk and slurred her words a little.

"Sure. Given you don't have secrets from me, that's only fair." I laughed.

She giggled. "Did you get pregnant the only time you've had sex?"

"No. I'd had sex before Bucky. Not exactly a fun late night story though. I was around men a lot. They started thinking things like 'I bet she's fucking tight' when I hit puberty. I didn't know what that meant. So I asked one. He showed me." I shrugged. They looked horrified. "Sorry. That was a downer. My life has been a bit of a shit show, but let's face it, I'm not the only one in the building that that's true for."

Clint gave a sarcastic laugh. "That's true. What a fucking mess we all are. We're the heroes. I wonder what the villains have all been through?" He got up and took Nat's hand. "Want to go to bed?"

She got up and said goodnight to Thor and I, and they left the room together.

"It feels like the baby has finally stilled." Thor said. "You should get some rest."

I looked at him, wondering what he was thinking. It was strange not knowing. "Will you be okay?"

He laughed. "Of course. Go sleep."

I went and got ready for bed, and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

They'd caught me. I struggled against them, but somehow they were stronger than I was. I don't know how that could be possible. I was being strapped to a chair. How could this be happening again? I need to get out. I need to find Steve. Where is Daisy? I can feel her. Why isn't she helping me? Daisy! Help me!

I lash out. Something strikes me in the side. A surge of electricity courses though my body. My cybernetic arm goes haywire. The pain it causes me is worse than anything I've felt before, including when I lost my arm in the first place. It's like my arm is being torn off and taking my spine with it. I scream.