Finding Home: A Captain America FanFic

Conclusion

Bucky spent the next two weeks just being with us. Preparations were made for his stasis. That all happened elsewhere. In our little world in the palace we just were. He particularly seemed to want to spend as much time with the children as he could. He would sit on the ground and build things out of blocks with Jamie. I'd find him on the couch with Sarah with her sleeping soundly on his chest while he read. Sometimes Steve would be sitting behind him, Bucky leaning against him. Steve's hand would be resting on Sarah and I felt like I was going to cry. More than once I found Bucky, napping on our bed with both children.

I started to get desperate to stop what was going to happen. He couldn't go under. I knew he had to while the Soldier was part of him but I also knew that I could fix it if they would just let me.

"I can get him out. Please, just let me try." I pleaded.

We were all sitting on the couch together. It was our last night together. The children were both asleep. Sarah would wake again in about five hours. Under normal circumstances we'd be using this opportunity to sleep. We were all restless though.

I reached for Bucky. He swatted my hand away and shook his head. "You aren't well enough yet." Bucky said squeezing my hand. "Plus you only just had a baby and you're still healing from that."

I toyed with his hand, running my thumb along his. "I have been healing though. You could let me try."

"I know this is hard for you, doll. I do. It doesn't have to be forever. You can come back when you're well again, but I've been like this for far longer than I'd like to have been. You need to let me rest." He got up and I looked up at him sadly. He ran his finger down my jaw. "I'm going to go have a shower."

I turned to Steve. "Can't they use the serum on me?"

He shook his head. "The result they are getting are disturbing to say the least. I think it would be more likely to kill you than heal you. They're working on it though."

I lay down against Steve and he stroked his hand through my hair. "How can you be okay with this?"

Steve laughed but it was hollow and empty. "You know that I'm not."

"What do you think we did that the world can't just let us be happy? Why is it punishing us?" I asked. Tears had started to slip down my cheeks.

Steve squeezed me against him. "There was a time I used to believe in God. After all that's happened ..." He shook his head. "I don't think that's how the world works. Things don't happen for a reason. They just happen. We'll just have to appreciate the happiness we can get when it happens."

I lay clinging to him when an idea hit me. "What about the Ark? The one that made Vision. Doctor Cho. If she could fix Clint, maybe she could fix me."

"I did actually think about that. Helen is friends with Tony though. I'm not sure it would be safe to contact her. I've sent out feelers. The engineers here have been looking into the same technology. They're in talks with her to bring some here. We can hope." Steve answered.

"We can't let him go under, Steve. We need him. I need him. He's a piece of me." I whispered.

Steve lifted my head up to face him. "He loves us. He wouldn't be doing this if he didn't think he needed to. You have to give him the dignity of his decision."

Bucky got out of the shower and I went and took one. When I was finally ready for bed I headed to the bedroom to find Steve and Bucky lying on the bed. They were both half naked and just kissing and stroking each other. Their hands sliding over each other's backs.

They looked up at me when I entered and I took a step back. "Sorry. I'll come back when you're done." I said.

Bucky held his hand out to me. "Come here, Daisy."