Round Two (KBTBB FF)

22 - A Miracle

*Two and a half months later*

I'm not sure whether to be afraid or overjoyed to hear someone tell me after seven painful years:

"Congratulations Mrs. Oh. You're four months pregnant." My doctor smiles at me.

"How...?"

"Well I'm sure we both know how children are conceived."

"Yes, I understand that, but how do you know for sure?" I ask with urgency.

"Well, your blood work came back positive for pregnancy hormones. Also, what you've been experiencing are symptoms that seem to be amplified. You've already entered your second trimester and since you've hit the 16 week mark, I might be able to tell the gender of your child. Is that something you'd like to know?"

"Sure. Why not." At this point, I'm not even sure of what to do.

They take me to a different hospital room and prepare to do an ultrasound. The doctor smiles at me every time she exits and enters the room.

I really can't believe this. Me, pregnant? There's no way. I mean, how could I even conceive?! For seven years my reproductive system healed after the abuse my body has been through. I've never been more than four months along either. What if my body rejects this child just as it would with few of the many times I conceived? It's only natural to miscarry unless it's caused by something else, of course. I think to four months back, but when was-? Oh, graduation night.
This is surreal, because I was able to conceive after three years of abstinence and difficulty to do so two years before. Did I just need time to rest and recover?

"Okay, Mrs. Oh. We'll begin now. The jelly is going to feel cold at first ." My doctor turns off the light and she sits next to me.

I mean how could I have not noticed? I'm experiencing the same symptoms of pregnancy that I did seven years ago but much stronger and more painful. Damn it, Mei. How could you have not tested?!

I'm brought out of my thoughts by the cool shock I feel on my abdomen. When she begins to move the transducer, my heart stops. It feels impossible to breath.

"Look, there it is. That's your child. Now, let's see if we can get a heartbeat."

For what seems like forever, she moves the transducer everywhere, making sure not to miss a single spot on my belly. However, there's no sign of life. I see the worry appear in her eyes and I dread to hear what she'll have to say if there is no heartbeat.

"Ah, there you go." She smiles with relief as the loud but gentle thumping fills the room.
"Would you like to see?"

"Yes, please." My voice is nothing but a mere whisper.

She turns the monitor and a pain strikes my heart. The black and white image of a fetus is on the screen. It moves around slightly, but it's just there. Inside of me. To think that Soryu and I could create life. It's amazing.

"I'm pretty confident about the gender. Do you want to know?" She stares at the screen.

••••••••••

I have to tell Soryu. He should be the first to know. But does he want this child? When we last spoke about it, he said he didn't care and that a child would get in the way. Did he really mean it or was he just trying to comfort me? I hope he'll let me keep it. I'm sure he'll understand, right?

I walk into the auction hall and see Soryu talking to someone else on stage. I greet Shinji, a new recruit as I enter but he just seems to glare at me. He's always friendly, I don't know what's up and it's frightening.