one day
maybe we
can be
something.
The hardest part was going home knowing that Maya would be waiting for me. No, we do not live together since we are underage but she always came over after dinner with her mom. We would study and do homework together or we would just simply talk.
Almost kissing Riley was both exhilarating and gut wrenching. On one hand I dreaming of kissing Riley since the day we met but my guilty conscious was screaming at me to stop because of Maya.
My lips almost came in contact with my girlfriend best friend. The situation that we would have been in if Riley and I did any more would be catastrophic. I know it sounds overdramatic (which it is) but it was the truth. I was coming in between the world's best friends.
He footsteps became heavy against the concrete. I trudged along the sidewalk until I finally reached the steps of my apartment. I took a deep breath before entering my apartment. Maya was sitting on the steps looking out into the distance.
"I saw you." She whispered.
"Saw me where?" I asked although I already knew the answer.
"At Riley's. I saw you from the window." She said even softer. I sat down next to her on the steps. It was only natural for me to grab her hand. I trained myself to do that in any situation without thinking. She squeezed my hand before letting go.
"You heard everything?" I questioned.
"Kind of, I heard most of it before coming here." Maya said. I bit the bottom of my lip, an unhealthy habit of mines.
"I somehow always knew that you liked her." She started. I was about the speak before clamming my mouth shut letting her continue. "It was always my gut feeling that you liked her. A few times I caught you looking at her but I brushed it off. I wanted to give us a shot, I wanted us to have a chance before I completely gave up."
I nodded and she continued. "Somehow you guys always find each other. No matter what happened I always knew that you could never love me like you love her."
"Then why stay with me? Why continue our relationship?" The questions were only flowing out of me. It was hard not to ask questions because I always tried to be upfront and honest with Maya, you know except for the whole Riley thing.
"I could say the same for you." She said sarcastically. There was a tone in her voice. A tone that she used when I first met her. Maya was trying to conceal how she felt.
"To be honest, I never really knew why I liked you." She blurted out. "I mean you aren't the worst looking guy but a relationship has to be based on more than just looks. For all the time that we have been dating I tried to find one reason why I would have any romantic feelings towards you, feelings that were beyond your physical appearance."
"Now your starting to sound like Farkle." We both laughed. It was genuine at first but it faded out into dead silence.
"Why did you choose me?" She asked after a couple of minutes.
"Well, I never did really want to make a choice."
"Well then why did you?" She asked.
"Because, I knew that I couldn't keep going on not making a decision. And to be honest, I always tried to look for reasons why I would like you in a more romantic way. In a way, I have always loved you as a friend but as anything more then that was forced."
"What happens now?" She sighed.
"Well, it depends on what we both want."
"I know what you want, you want out. And don't worry, I want out too." She turned and smiled to me for the first time during this whole conversation. "I guess we were just blinded by confusion to actually realize what is going on."
"Now you're sounding like Riley."
"That's weird." Her face scrunched up at my statement.
"Huh?"
"My mom has been accusing me of acting like Riley for weeks now. She said that I have been dressing like her, acting like her, thinking like her, ect. I was thinking that maybe that's why I thought I liked you. Maybe I liked you because Riley liked you." Maya came to the conclusion that she liked me because Riley liked me. That's crazy, right?
"So you're saying that you have become Riley?"
"No, maybe I just wanted you because Riley wanted you. I know it sounds crazy but we're like sisters. I would never want anyone to hurt her, especially a boy. I would never want a boy to come in between us but anyone hurting her would make me go mad. We would do anything for each other."
"So this was you protecting Riley?"
"I guess." She got up and turned around to face me.
"I feel used."
"If anyone feels anything it would be me. I mean while we were dating you were having feelings for my best friend." She laughed. "I guess we were both never committed to this relationship. We were too confused to move. We caused Riley more pain then any of us could have thought of."
"I know how much pain she's in. After talking to her today I realized that she is hurting. She is hurting from a deep place."
"Then go be with you princess, cowboy." Maya acted as if it was easy for me to just go from one girl to another. Sure, it looked easy because of all of the things that have recently happened. I thought that she knew her friend better than that.
"I cant just go back to her. She is going to make sure that you are okay. She knows that you bury your feelings and she's going to think that you're hiding your feelings so that she can be happy. You're right, you guys would do anything for each other meaning that if she has to give up her happiness and wait she will."
Maya nodded at me. She reached down and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "We'll figure this out, we always do." She whispered in my ear before pulling away from me and walking down the sidewalk into the distance.
