Letters to Ghosts of the Past

Eight Months

To the one who took eight months to get over,

January 23rd,
It sucks when someone you thought you knew turns into someone completely different

And you thought you'd have them to to keep your secrets but now you wish what you had never happened

I miss it. But I also can't bring myself to want to be around who you've become. I miss the you that I knew, not the one you are now.

Thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great though, right?

I just wish there were more...
______________________
March 17th,
I wish I could tell you this is about you. I want you to know because I know if I don't, eventually I'll lose you.

But I can't bring myself to say it. I feel as though you're better off without me.

Nobody wants to hear me talk about tragedy. No one cares. People keep telling me that.

No one cares, Emily. We don't give a shit, stop talking.

How can you expect me to trust any of you if that's all you say? How can you expect me to let that go when it's all I ever hear.

I don't want to let it go. But I also don't want to let you go.
______________________
April 8th,
I've started to wonder if anything was real. Did you ever actually consider me a friend. Do you even know?

Or did you just want to get rid of someone who you inevitably reunited with in the end, leaving me feeling like it's my fault.

And maybe it is, because I could've been a better person.

But feeling ignored and feeling like you don't actually want to have a conversation with me is killing me because I miss things before.

I miss telling you everything. Now I hesitate to tell you anything.

I'm sorry, please know that. But also know that I'm here, feeling like shit.
_________________________
August 5th,
I felt like it was my fault once, but now I'm glad I felt that way because it's happening to you. It's your turn to feel that.

I see the perfect little world you tried to create crumbling and I can't help but feel satisfied.

I know I shouldn't, because what kind of person does that make me?

But after all the hell you put me through, you had everything that is happening coming.

I watch you feel bad for yourself because they won't forgive you no matter what, and now you wish you could have done better.

That is exactly what you did to me. How does it feel? Shitty. Karma's a bitch, isn't she?

I won't be here for you when you lose everything you tried to taunt me with, because I had no one there for me when you left.

But I managed to put myself back together because I realized that you were never worth it.

Maybe you'll realize I was. And then you'll realize it's too late, and this time, I'll know it's not my fault.

Everything that's happening is your own doing. Have fun fixing this one.