Letters to Ghosts of the Past

Dust and Shadows

To the one I'll go back to even though you don't deserve it,

As the dust settles I see through your facade.

I held on so tight to a fantasy that my wishful thinking had fabricated out of what I'd hoped you could give me.

I refuse to be a footnote in your story any longer.

I look at you and see my whole world. You look at me and see a small piece of a short chapter.

Dust is commonly referred to as nothing. We blow dust away, we refer to it as nothingness. As bland, sad, annoying at times. That perfectly describes the situation you've put me in. Nothing. Irrelevant. Inconsequential.

I am nothing. And like the dust that I have become, the dust that our story is now, the dust the explosion that was the end caused, I will forever be here.

I am a reminder that you chose someone else. A reminder of who you used to be. May I remind you of broken promises and lost reveries.

Dust can be cleaned and forgotten, but it's constantly there. You can get rid of it but it always comes back.

You pretended I was worth something to you. Then you found someone who really was.

But what happens when that person leaves you? The dust will settle again. I'll be there again. Because unlike you, I'd never leave.

I'm the one who has been there for you through so much. The one you left me for was not. But time and time again, I was but dust. Second best. Never important enough for you. Always less than everyone who left.

But when they leave, I'll be here. Waiting, ready to support you.

I know I will, you know I will. The dust never goes away. I'll be there to pick up the broken pieces.

But you'll be there to sweep me away once more. To throw me out, worthless.

That is as predictable and certain as seeing your own shadow.

And so goes the expression;

Pulvis et umbra sumus. We are but dust and shadow.
~~~~~~
Hi all! So a little bit of an explanation of why I just posted like 5 chapters.

As is probably obvious by reading the last 7ish chapters I've been having a rough time with things lately. The last several chapters have been about that and what my feelings about the situation have been. They've pretty much all been about the same person too, fun fact. I hadn't posted a lot of these because some of them felt too personal at the time I wrote them but now that it's kind of over I felt like I could share them.

This chapter in particular holds a lot of meaning because it's the most recent thing I've written on the subject and it feel like closure to me. I hope you enjoyed it, along with the other chapters I've posted today and previously. If you could like and comment it would mean the world to me, knowing people actually care about what I write. Thank you!

-Emily