All Of Me

9

9

Like I said, I'm really not one that likes to be mean and bratty to get their way. Once luke gave in and agreed to open up to me a little bit, I chose to play good cop.

I sat down next to him on the bench. I placed my hand on his knee, which caused him to look at me with scared eyes.

"What's up, luke?" Luke hesitated as he watched the lights change from green to yellow and to red.
"I really don't know how to explain it." He mumbled. "Sometimes...I just get so mad at everything for like no reason... And when I do, it's not like ignoring people mad, it's more like starting fights with random people for no reason.
I feel so weird not being able to control my actions. I-i didn't mean to hit Riley...it-it was an accident." I could tell this was really getting to Luke and, I mean, I understood where he was coming from. I understand what it's like feeling so out of place and feeling like you don't have control over yourself.
"You're not weird, Luke. You're not the only one who struggles with something like that. Have you ever considered seeing a doctor? I know a few really great ones that could probably help you a lot."
"I don't know." He murmured. "How do you know them?"

Well, that was a fair question I suppose.

"Well," I began as I looked off into the endless night in front of me as a few cars drove by every few minutes. "Ever since I can remember, I have had really horrible social skills and I went through a lot of depression these past few years. Since I was 11, I've been seeing my therapist, Dr. Willis. She's helped me get through so much these past years, and I've come such a long way with her help. The people at the office I go to are all really great, even Mr. Hayes is from my office."
"I think I might." Luke looked at me the same time I looked at him. The fright in his eyes disappeared for the most part, but he still looked nervous. "You promise it'll help?"
"I promise, Luke. I'm not going to lie, some days, it's going to be the last place you want to be on all of earth, but those are the days that matter the most."
"I'll get help." He agreed. "Want to walk for a little longer?" I nodded and Luke held his hand out in front of me. I took it and he pulled me up.

We waited for the crosswalk to light up with a person before we crossed the street, hand-in-hand.

"Can I ask you something?" Luke asked.
I have a feeling I know what this question will be, but I nodded anyway. Luke is probably the person I trust most, if you don't count my dad.
"You said you were depressed, from what?"
I frowned a bit and looked off in the distance.

I hate talking about that time in my life: it was truthfully the roughest patch of my life.

Luke squeezed my hand to reassure me that I could trust him.

"It was really just everything. I had no friends, my only family member was my dad, I was picked on, I missed my mom... I was already at risk to suffer depression when I was born so premature."
"What was it like?"
"It sucks." I said without giving it a second thought. "So many people think it's just being sad, but it's so much more than that. It goes so much deeper than that. Imagine being 11 years old and having to literally convince yourself to wake up in the morning for school. I was 11 and thought life was just pointless because the only person I had was my dad." A tear fell down my cheek thinking back to that year. I hated that year; if I could erase a year from my life, it'd be that year.

"It sounds horrible, Bobbi." He murmured. "I'm sorry that you had to deal with that, especially at such a young age."
"Me too." I didn't mean to drown myself in self-pity, it was just the truth. I was too young to have had to deal with that.
"Have things gotten better?" That question really made me realize that things have gotten so much better since then.
"Ya know?" I said, a small smile appearing on my face as I looked at luke. "This has been the best year I've had, yet."
Luke stopped us in the middle of the sidewalk and moved so he was standing right in front of me, only inches away.