Holding On||Peter Hayes (Divergent)

Chapter 27

I don't go with the group eavesdropping in on Jeanine and Jack's meeting. Marlene and I are sitting on the ledge of of the amphitheatre, eating ice cream and talking about her and Uriah. "I really, really like him," she sighs, licking the vanilla ice cream off her spoon, "but I don't know if I should ask him out or not." I shrug, staring at my strawberry ice cream melting to a puddle in my bowl.

"When you feel it's right you make a move," I advise her. "One of you better make a move on the other or Lynn and I are going to scoop our eyes out."

"That's nice of you two," Marlene says sarcastically. "Nice to know you two are so optimistic when it comes to love."

I'd snap at her if I had the energy to. All night I laid  awake, contemplating on whether I should speak to AJ about seeing our father. I don't want to go without him... but if it means I have to go without him I will. "What is love?" I sigh. "To me it's a dark and unhappy place where you get hurt and makes you view the world in a total different perspective."

"What happened to you?" Marlene asks, putting a hand on my shoulder. "You sound like Lynn, have you been spending too much time with her?"

"No," I shake my head. "I'm just a deeply unhappy person."

"No you aren't," Marlene says. "You've been keeping a lot of secrets lately, what's up?"

"It doesn't -"

"It does matter because you matter." Marlene poked my chest.

"Ow, my boob," I frown, placing a hand to where she poked me.

"I'm your best friend," Marlene completely ignores the fact she poked my boob and carried on with her emotional speech. "We got these cheesy tattoos for a reason." She put her right wrist beside mine. I gaze at the heart tattoos on our wrists and smile.

"Okay," I exhale deeply, "so yesterday Zeke came to me and AJ with a message from our dad. Our dad wants to see us, and tell us something about our mum and our past. AJ thinks he's bullshitting but... I want to see."

"Have you told AJ this?" Marlene asks.

"Yesterday I told him I wanted to see him, but AJ told me he'd never speak to me again if I go." I tell her. "Zeke told me to speak to him about it and he thinks I should go. He said that it sounded important - and that's serious coming from my alcoholic father."

"AJ won't easily change his mind, you know," she says.

"Of course I know that," I say, annoyed. "We had a massive fight in front of Zeke, it was kinda embarrassing. He was telling me to get over Mum, to forget Dad, telling me he's getting to my head." I close my eyes, thinking. "Maybe he's right."

"Maybe you should leave it. The past is the past," Marlene shrugs. "I'll support you either way though."

"Thanks, and I'll support you until you finally kiss Uriah and call him your boyfriend." I smirk.

"He's my kinda-boyfriend, I think," my best friend runs a hand through her hair. "We're kinda in a relationship."

"Well you should 'kinda' tell him how you feel and get it over with!" I exclaim.

"And you should 'kinda' finish that ice cream," Marlene points to the bowl of strawberry ice cream - now soup - sloshing around in my hands.

"Ew, you can have it," I thrust the bowl to Marlene. She deflects it, and the bowl falls out of my hands and down to the pavement below. "That's the second bowl of ice cream I've dropped off the roof! I'm literally the only person who's probably done something like this. Twice."

"Knowing you, yeah." Marlene giggles.

***

"It's Shauna." Uriah pants as he reaches Marlene and I. We were walking through the Merciless Mart only to see the Erudite refugees dash past with Uriah. The three of us run after them to see a cluster of black, white and streaks of red in the lobby. Marlene and I rush to Shauna's side, kneeling beside Four.

"What happened?" I ask him.

"Bullet to the back. Got shot when eavesdropping." Tobias says stiffly, staring at Shauna.

"It's my fault," Lynn croaks from behind. I stand up and wrap my arms around her, telling her it's okay. "I shot at Max when I shouldn't have, it's me who deserves to be in Shauna's place."

"No, Lynn, don't say that," we break apart. "She'll be fine, she's a fighter." I look at Shauna's limp body, almost gagging at the sight of so much blood. "She'll be fine..."

***

The Dauntless hold a meeting between the space of the bunk beds and door, which was locked feebly with a tightly knotted bedsheet. "What were the terms?" Tori asks Tris, regarding the peace negotiation between Kang and Matthews.

"There were three. Return Eric to Erudite. Report the names of all people who did not get shot with needles. And deliver the Divergent to the Erudite headquarters." A part of me is relived I didn't reveal my Divergence.

"If Jack Kang is making deals with the Erudite we can't stay here," Tori says, "so where can we go?"

"Home," Four says aloud. "We should take back what's ours. We can break the security cameras in the Dauntless headquarters so the Erudite can't see us. We should go home." Home. I see the chasm, and my mother jumping. I see my old apartment and smell the alcohol. I see the roof and remember remember painful memories of Peter. And then I see my home. My faction living where we belong. I see freedom, liberty, the wild Dauntless spirit expressed in the Pit. I see a place where I have grown and developed to become stronger and braver. I see home. All the Dauntless shout, nod and yell in approval and I know that settles it.

"But before we do that," Bud, the man who used to work alongside Tori in the tattoo parlour now standing behind her with his hand on the back of her chair, "we need to decide what to do about Eric. To let him stay here with the Erudite or to execute him."

"Eric is Dauntless," Lauren says while she turns the ring in her lip. "That means we decide what happens to him, not Candor." We all yell again in agreement with Lauren.

"According to Dauntless law, only Dauntless leaders can preform an execution," Tori explains. "All five of our faction leaders are traitors, so I think it's time we pick new ones. The law says we need more than one, and we need an odd number. If you've got suggestions, you should shout them out now." Someone suggests Tori, who accepts it modestly. Marlene and I elect Tris and another person elects a man named Harrison. Tori herself puts Four's name forward. Because we need three leaders, one person must drop out or be voted out. Tris drops out, which makes me upset. We need a strong person like her who knows what Erudite are up to in our faction leadership.

Not a minute later something rings. The ringing comes from a speaker hanging from the ceiling above. There's another one across the room. The ringing finally stops and Jack Kang's voice projects from the speakers. "Attention all occupants of Candor headquarters. A few hours ago I met with a representative of Jeanine Matthews. He reminded me that we Candor are in a weak position, dependant on Erudite for our survival, and told me if I intended to keep my faction free, I will have to meet a few demands. In order to comply with these demands, I ask that everyone make their way to the Gathering Place to report whether you have an implant or not. The Erudite have all ordered all Divergent to be turned over to Erudite. I do not know for what purpose."

The announcement ends with the same ringing. And then the rush starts. We all dart to our beds and start packing. I throw any clothes I find lying over and around my bunk into my bag. I also pocket a gun and my knife, just in case. Everyone shouts, screaming things about Eric and cutting our temporary lock from the door. We have to get out of here.