Holding On||Peter Hayes (Divergent)

Chapter 52

Half term has just started for me! Hopefully I'll be able to update regularly.✨

Peter's POV:

When they tell me she's been hurt I push past Caleb to find her. Throughout the attack Caleb and I had stayed in our room, safe from the explosions. Cara was somewhere in the control rooms and ran to the hotel for shelter. On the way she passed the ruins from the massive explosion by the security checkpoint, where Piper laid unconscious. My feet take me to the hospital and I rush around, pushing last doctors and nurses, just to find her. My heart races so fast I can feel it about to burst out from my chest. My head spins and I can't see straight. I have to find Piper.

I see Christina sitting in the waiting room, her knee bouncing up and down fast. I approach her, speaking hastily. "Piper, where is she? I have to see her. Where is she!"

"She's getting scanned," Christina tells me. "When she was blasted back, it damaged her chest. They're suspecting a hemothorax -"

"What the hell is that?" I demand.

"When blood accumulates in the pleural cavity," a voice says from behind. I turn around to see the guy Piper has been cozying up to for the past few days. "They said her hemothorax also has an associated pneumothorax - its like hemothorax, instead of blood it's air. She's going to get a chest drain right now."

"Is she still unconscious?" Christina asks. The guy nods. He looks to me and smiles a little.

"I'm Matthew, by the way, Piper's friend."

"I'm Peter," I say coldly. "Piper's boyfriend." I have to keep him away from her.

"Really? She never mentioned you," Matthew seems surprised. What has she been saying to this prick?

"Because he's her ex." Christina interferes. I'm dragged to the side by the girl. She stares up at me, her face hard. "You've been ignoring her and now she's badly hurt you come and call yourself her boyfriend?" I don't say anything. She's been ignoring me for weeks. She's completely ignored how I feel. She's been sending me mixed signals recently. And when she told me she still liked me, I was in such a rage of anger and shock I started to ignore her. I'm so mad that she ignored me and then expected me to think that everything is okay once she decides to open up after a few long, painful months. I'm so mad that she keeps changing her mind about me every second. It's been tough for the both of us but the way she spoke made it seem like it was hard for her. But I can't stay mad at her. Before, when I tried to get her out of my head, it was impossible. She's stuck in my mind all the time and no matter how much I want to forget her I can't. I love her.

"How much do you know?" I sneer.

"Enough to know you're the bad one," Christina snaps back. I scoff and stride towards Matthew, glaring at him hard.

"Look, I don't want you near her, got it?" I mutter darkly. "She needs me right now."

"If your her ex aren't you the last person she wants with her?" Matthew steps in closer, his eyes setting on mine like stones.

"You don't know shit," I step back and storm out the waiting room to find Piper's body upon a bed being pushed into a secure room. Her eyes are tightly shut, with dry and fresh blood on her face. Everything inside me twists with pain and I can feel the anger to whoever did this to her rising in the pit of my stomach. I follow the doctors at her bed and push myself into the room. A nurse in a blue uniform puts her hand on my shoulders, trying to push me back.

"I'm sorry, you can't come on here," the nurse tells me.

"Piper!" I yell, trying to push myself forward. A few more nurses try to restrain me while I see a doctor cover Piper's body with a teal sheet. It matches Piper's gorgeous hair so perfectly. There is an open square in this sheet on the left of Piper's chest where her bare skin is visible. The doctor readies a scalpel by her body, but doesn't make the incision.

"Get the boy out, I need to focus," he demands. One of the nurses managed to finally push me out of the door frame.

"She'll be okay," the male nurse assures me. "They need to drain her chest from the blood in her lung. You'll be able to visit later, okay?" I nod. The nurse smiles sadly and closes the door to Piper's secure room.

***

I sat in the waiting room until about nine o'clock at night. The same male nurse that sent me out the room tells me that Piper's been moved to a room with a viewing window, next to Uriah's. I was told that Uriah has sustained serious head injuries and may not wake up. I don't know how Piper will react to that. She hasn't shown any weakness lately. She's been so strong that I think you could say that she has no feelings or emotions. The walk to her room is agonising. The last time I saw her, her whole face was bloody. I wonder if she's breathing okay, or if she's still unconscious. I reach the window of her room and see her lying flat upon the hospital bed, a light blue gown replacing her clothes from earlier. A thick tube protrudes from the left side of her chest, connecting to a clear box hooked beside her bed, where blood drips from the tube inside the box. Her face and arms are covered in scratches and stitches from where glass sliced her skin.

I feel a reluctancy to enter. I don't want to see her like this. It makes everything inside me quiver with fear. My hand lingers on the door handle for a minute as I gaze through the window at her. "Go on in," the nurse says.

"Will she wake up?" I murmur.

"In a recent scan we found that she's sustained head injuries that aren't severe, but will risk the chance of her waking up if they get any worse. She can hear you and sense you so communicate with her like so," he responds.

"And her friend? Uriah?" I ask. He doesn't reply. Not for a while. The silence only makes me feel even more anxious.

"The chances aren't as likely as Piper," the nurse says. "Now go in. She needs someone who cares about her as much as you do." I sigh, twisting the door knob and pushing the door open. I walks towards her and sit upon the chair to her right. All I do is stare for a few seconds. She's on a ventilator, white straps covering the lower part of her face and a sea green tube coming out from her mouth connecting to a machine. Her chest rises and falls so subtly that you could probably mistake her for dead. Thank God she isn't dead. I don't know what I'd do if she was. I clasp Piper's right hand with my own, feeling the icy sensation of her unmoving hand spark through me. I wrap my other hand around her small one, attempting to send warmth through it.

"You're hands are usually really warm. What happened now?" I let out a forced chuckle. Talk, I repeat over and over in my mind. But she still lays there, unresponsive. The only noise in the room her heart monitor beeping in rhythm. "That monitor is so annoying," I continue talking to her. "And these tubes sticking out of you... I hate seeing you like this. I remember when you were shot twice in the leg - that scared the shit out of me. Now look at you here. I'm scared to death!" I study her pale face for a flicker of emotion. Just something to show that she really is alive. There isn't anything. Not a slight blink of the eye. Not a twitch of the mouth. Not wriggle of the head. Nothing. I squeeze her hand as though I'm trying to squeeze some of my life into her to make her open her eyes, to make her look me, to make her insult me like usual, to make her her.

The door opens, and Four walks in. "What do you want?" I ask. He doesn't reply. He walks to the other seat next to Piper and looks at her solemnly. What's up with him?

"I'm sorry," Four whispers. I don't know if it's to me or to Piper. "I-I messed up. I - I don't know... I wasn't thinking straight. Forgive me, please -"

"Four," I say slowly, "what did you do?"

"T-The attack," he says shakily. "I was part of it. I didn't know this was going to happen. I didn't mean for Piper and Uriah to get hurt." My blood boils. My teeth clench so tightly they're about to all shatter in my mouth. My eyes are wide and wild with fury. He did this. To Piper. To Uriah. Four did this with his stupid attack group. He has known Piper for a long time, ever since he transferred to Dauntless. Not only has he hurt two of his friends, but countless other people.

"You did this," I declare. "You put her in this condition. You hurt Uriah, and he might not ever wake up. And what if Piper doesn't wake up either?"

"Peter -"

"No. And people call me the bad one," I scoff. I stand up, letting go of Piper's hand. Before I leave her room, I kiss her forehead gently and glare at Four. "If she doesn't wake up..." I shake my head. "I'll fucking kill you."