His Nerdy Red

《Nerdy Red Pt. 20》

/It's not all rainbows/

~~

I was counting down the seconds before I would get to see Parker on Monday.

I know that sounds really cheesy, or whatever. But it was true, I felt ten times lighter after the weekend.

October air was finally setting in, and I had to use my winter coat this morning. At school, I got it jammed in my locker.

I struggled to get it out, I probably looked like a doofus.

I tucked my hair behind my ear, then gave my coat another tug.

"Hey, you need help?"

I turned around as much as I could. Elliot was coming my way.

"W-what are you doing here?"

He smiled at me, inspecting my coat problem. "I'm here aiding the band director with their varsity show."

"Ah."

"Here, maybe if you twist it." Without warning he grabs the inside of my jacket and twists. It still doesn't come loose.

Suddenly, Elliots back is against the locker next to mine.

Parker is literally fuming.

"Parker!"

"Keep your fucking hands off." Parker says to Elliot.

Elliot looks at me, then nods, backing away slowly.

I grab my coat, and Parker does the same. Putting his hands on top of mine. He pulls and the fabric of my coat rips.

"Parker, I'm not a trophy."

"Why is he even here?"

"He helps with a lot of school things."

"Is flirting on that list of 'helping'?"

"Parker, you can't just claim me, alright?"

"Rylan-" but Parker stops because he has nothing else to say. "I'm sorry." He says defeated. "I didn't mean-"

"No, its fine. You should apologize to Elliot. He was just trying to help."

"I will."

"Thank you." That's when I notice how worn down Parker looks. "Hey, are you alright?"

He looks back up at me. "Uh, yeah."

"That wasn't convincing."

"My dad's back," he says bluntly. Looking away from me.

I put my hand on his arm.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He's looking at my hand on his arm. He rests his hands on my waist, pulling me against him.

I give into his hug.

"No," he mumbles against my ear. "I just want to hold you."

And I just wanted him to hold me.

*

"Is that the kind of guy you want?" We're on our way back to Parker's place.

"What?"

"Do you want a guy like Elliot?"

"What? Why would you even bring that up?"

"Rylan, its a simple question. Do you or do you not want a guy like Elliot? You know, smart, volunteers for everything, probably going to succeed at life?"

"Elliot's nice," is all I offer.

"So you do?"

"No, Parker."

"Well, I was just wondering." He adds.

A few seconds pass, "did I scare you today?"

"When?"

"That thing with Elliot."

"No."

"You looked scared, Ry."

"Well, I wasn't."

Parker parks his car in front of his house.

He swallows, "I just don't want you to be scared of me. I'm not a bad... person. I mean-"

"Parker," I stop him. "Will you just shut up already? I like you alright? You and only you. And you don't scare me... how could you scare me?"

He smiles, but he's so tired.

I lie my hand on his arm again. It's a way of trying to tell him how much I actually do like him. I just hope he can see it.

Instead of kissing me like I want him too. He reaches forward and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I know I've asked you this like, a billion times- but why me?" I ask as serious as I can.

He just laughs like it's the funniest thing in the world.