Love You Till Death (Tronnor au)

Back In A Black Hole

I'm suffering. The pain is back. Perhaps it never left. I'm depressed. Miserable even. I hate myself and the world around me. I ignore all the calls and texts Tyler sends me. I even ignore him when he comes and tries to talk to me. I haven't left my bed in 3 days. I haven't done anything in 3 days.

I laid there on my bed, mind lost in my thoughts. When a knock came to my door. I just grunted at the noise. What I was expecting to be Tyler walked in sitting on the end of my bed. "Can I talk to you?" The accented boy said. I looked up to see it was Troye. Troye. I just contained to look at him, some what dazed. "Or you can just listen... I know things seem hard on you right now, but it gets better, I promise. You need to get out, talk to people, do new things, just anything it takes to fix this. To fix you. Tyler's told me a lot about you. He really loves you, you know that? If you want I can help, since I can relate to you. I want to help you. Can I help you Connah?" He said rubbing a hand on my back.

I'm not gonna lie he kinda makes my heart melt. He realized I was looking at his hand on my back and pulled away blushing. "Oh um sorry, that was inappropriate. I mean I get it to, if you don't want to talk right now. The offers still on the table though, if you need my help" he said looking down to his lap. I placed my hand on top of his. He didn't move. I didn't move. We just stayed there.  My tummy had swirly feelings that I couldn't quite make out. Butterflies. "Teach me how to love myself" I mumbled. "What was that?" he asked looking up from our hands. "Teach me how to love myself" I said more clearly, looking him in his deep ocean blue eyes. He was quiet for a while before saying, "Okay, we'll start tomorrow at 11". I nodded.

He got up and began to walk towards the door. I got up, running behind him  and giving him a hug. "Thank you Troye" I said, my face buried into him back. He turned around an hugged me properly. "You're welcome Connah" he replied. I thought he was gonna pull back, so I squeezed him tighter. "Don't let go yet" I whispered. "I wasn't going to" he replied.

•••

Its 10:00 right now and I have to get ready for Troye to come over. I took a shower and put on a pair of denim skinny jeans, an blue/grey colored pocked shirt, and black converse. I fixed my hair, and made a cup a coffee. I sat on my couch, watching TV and sipping on my coffee, when I heard a knock on my front door. I Sat my mug downon the tavle and turned off my tv, before answering the door. My green eyes met Troye and his toothy smile. I gestured him to cone on in.

We both sat on the couch, before Troye broke the silence and said "So my goal today is to get to know who you ate and what happened to you. Basically getting to know you". I nodded and said "What do you want to know?" I asked staring into his blue eyes. "What was your childhood like?" He's asked. I sighed before saying "It sucked. I have three siblings that ice never met and lived my aunt and uncle who 'raised' me as they're own. My other sibling stayed with nice families in foster care, tgaey all got adopted my one family too. From what I heart anyways. I think two of them are boys and the others a girl, I'm not sure. Anyway, I somehow got separated from them. I was really little so I don't remember. I remember my aunt and uncle being very nice to me and I called them mom and dad. Then they started fighting and split up, both of them fighting over me. My mom was on her way back from work and she was trying to drink the pain away and came home yelling calling me names and yelling some more. My Dad became an abusive alcoholic. He would beat me because I'm gay and mom would watch, shooting me dirty looks the whole time. She didn't accept me and Dad abused me. I never met my real parents, they died when I was really little. Tyler has always been my best friend and that's why I love him so much. He's always been there" I said looking upon the sad expression plastered to Troyes face as he processed what he just heard. "I'm so sorry Connah" he said quietly.I just shrugged. "What happened after that in life?" He asked. I took a deep breath.

"I moved out when I was 17 in a little apartment. I had school, work, and I had to provide for myself. It was hard, but I made it work. When I graduated and went to college for photography, I made a bunch of new friends and I lobe them so much. No one can replace Tyler though. It was good, I got over my past and I was living a happy life. I met this boy, this boy named Simon. I instantly fell for him, I fell too hard. We we're good friend for a long time and then we simply became more than friends. Then his Dad died and he flipped a switch. He began to drink more, and eventually became and alcoholic. He broke all his promises, he cheated, he lied, he broke me. Ever since my past has came back to haunt me and I'm surrounded my darkness. Im stuck a and I need your guidance" I said crying into the palms of my hands. He pulled me onto a hug and I friend harshly into his shoulder. "Connah, why would anyone want to hurt you like that? You deserve so much more. When I pulled back, we talked more, about things like favorites, and first and stuff. We said our goodbyes and I went to bed that high with one and only one thought on my mind. I like Troye.

Ta-da! I updated. Pls don't hate me lol, Ive been either busy or lazy so sorry. I hope you guys like this chapter and the next one will be better I promise, also there might be a pov change soon! Until next time, byeee.