Passion and Ambitions

Chapter Sixteen: Wide Awake

Chapter Sixteen: Wide Awake

   Phoebe sat impatiently on her chair outside a restaurant while waiting for her order. The new waitress was so stunned by her presence that she asked Phoebe if the rumors about her sleeping with a truckload of guys were true. Phoebe kept her conposure and just ignored the question.

   After a few more agonizing minutes, the waitress came back with a tray and an envelope.

"What's this for?" Phoebe asked.

"The woman from table fifteen gave it to me. There she is," the waitress said, pointing to the woman wearing an all black ensemble with matching black sunglasses. She waved at Phoebe and sent a flying kiss.

   Phoebe dismissed the waitress and went straight for the woman. Suddenly, a group of girls blocked her path and shoved a cake on her face and threw her a mini tarpaulin. They immediately ran away before Phoebe could wipe the confection off her face. She finally opened her eyes and saw the tarp lying on the ground. Whore, it said. She searched for the woman but she was no longer there. She looked at  the letter.

        So what does it feel to be publicly humiliated, darling? Did you enjoy it, 'cause I sure did. Sue all you want, but I'm never going to stop until you drop your position.

   And then, people began surrounding her with their phones, recording and taking pictures of the recent fiasco.

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   Pity. That was the last thing Phoebe wanted from the people around her. After what happened, she no longer have the courage to show her face anymore. Photos and pictures of the incident circulated throughout the internet. Tale&Tell continued writing destructive articles. On top of that, when the Cosmo management contacted the magazine publishing Tale&Tell's works, they told them that she had already quit and that the person behind the column had just been sending them the articles. They just published her works without even meeting her first. The contact numbers were no longer active when they tried to contact her.

   As for her address, all they found was a vacant lot when the team went there.

   Phoebe went to Geneva's apartment but she already changed places. Apparently, she switched numbers as well.

   Tale&Tell's official gossip site was still running, flooding with news and posts about how Phoebe was such a tramp, but then again still needs some respect, 'symphatizing' to Phoebe for what had happened in the resto.

       Guess some people just can't take seeing someone like her strut down the streets of New York, ruining the beautiful sceneries with her disgusting presence. But then again, she's still a human being, although she doesn't look like one. Even the most horrible creatures deserve some respect.

   Phoebe had never felt so lonely before. Her mother took a vacation, and she's got no friends to spend time with. And no man. No decent man where she can pour her heart out cuddle up to.

   Phoebe took a pillow and hugged it, hoping that her burden would lessen once she released the pressure. It didn't.

   She stared blankly at the ceiling. The shadows of trees and the window were formed by the lights from passing cars. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

   Eight years ago, she had a dream. A dream to become confident and proud of herself. A dream to become famous and so beautiful that whenever she passed by, everyone would turn their heads to look at her. A dream to live in a glamorous life so that she can buy everything that she can't afford before. A dream to be with a handsome, god-like man.

   All of these, she already acquired. But somehow, she felt even more hollow than ever before. Something in her is missing. Something very important.

   Happiness.

   All her life she thought that once she successfully achieved her dreams, she would no longer ask for anything. She thought she would feel complete. She thought she would be on top of the world.

   But no.

   The fulfillment that she thought she would feel turned to emptiness. Her success, a failure. Joy to suffering.

   She lost three best friends in the process of achieving her goals. Carmin refused to talk to her after prioritizing Cosmo over Clyde. Melanie, whom she forced away because she was too naïve to realize her friend's concern. Katherine, her cousin who she grew up with. She intentionally ruined her cousin's wedding because she can't accept the fact that she is suffering and Katherine isn't. That Katherine who is younger than her found the perfect man and she let go of hers.

   And her relationships. All went to waste because of her selfishness. Clyde was Mr. Perfect. Every woman's dream. Her first love, first kiss, first everything. The man who gave everything she needed and wanted, who sacrificed so much for her, but got nothing in return. She was so lucky to have met someone like him at an early age. Most women die without even getting close. And Steve, who went out of his way to get in touch with her. Who won't let a day pass without a lovely surprise. Phoebe was beginning to think that it was her who pushed Steve to seek someone else's company because she was never there for him.

   Not only did she ruin her life, she also ruined her company's image. She should know better than to sleep around with men because all eyes are on her. She seeked the company of fun-seeking people instead of her family and friends.

   Before she noticed, tears were already streaming down her face. She clutched the pillow tighter and basked in the thoughts of her misery. Her sobbing melted into silence as she dozed off. Her worry followed her even in her dreams.