Okay so i made this chapter extra long because I won't be updating for a while (: I hope y'all enjoy it and I'm sorry for spelling errors as i haven't proof read yet (:
It has been three days… THREE DAYS! And the most active thing I have done is get off my bed and jump in the shower and jump right back onto or into my bed. I decided to listen to the figure of my mom and allow myself to feel, and that feeling allowed me to like Murphy, no doubt about that but it also allowed me to feel loneliness, sadness and those feelings are driving me insane, so much so that I have, on numerous occasions, thought of ending my life. My mom is gone, my dad is gone, I have no more family left, I’m in charge of one of the biggest business in my industry.
It’s hard you know? So here I am, rocking myself back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.
“Come on Blair, open the door!” I hear Murphy whine yet again.
I’ve become immune to his whines, they are just background noise now, I know Conner and Murphy are both worried because this depression was so sudden and unexpected. It was bound to happen if you ask me, there is only so much a girl can take before that bottle within her shatters.
“Blair! This is fuckin’ funny!” Murphy yelled.
I wanted to reply with a very snarky “I know shithead.” But I just can’t.
Conner then said, “Blair? Come on, talk ta us. Or at least come on? Get some food?”
Silence, I didn’t even think of a response knowing I wouldn’t reply. Instead I started thinking.
It’s all your fault Blair! Everyone who you know and love will die! It always happens!
Wow, my mind is bipolar one minute it’s like “Hey gurl! You deserve to be happy!” the next it blames me for shit I can’t handle.
“… Conner feck off!”
“Ya can’t jus’ sit here all day Murph! We got a hit tanight!”
Murphy sighed. It was quiet and I decided, enough of this depression! I’m a strong girl both physically and emotionally!
Hmm… took you long enough! Ohh… so that’s why my mind was being a bitch to me…
I got up and went to shower, I jumped out and decided to wear black short shorts that with a red shirt that had the numbers 74 printed on, a red cap and knee high socks with knee high socks and black boots. I did my makeup in a smokey eye with thick black eyeliner and mascara and put red lipstick on. I heard Conner and Murphy arguing outside the door and I quickly opened the door. They didn’t even register anything for like ten seconds.
“Oh my God…” Conner muttered which a slap across the head from Murphy.
“My girl, back off.” He growled.
“No need to get Jealous Murph.” I said as I walked up to him and caressed his cheek before pulling away. “So what have you two got planned for today?”
“Well in tha’ outfit, I think Murphy may have decided ta take a rain check for tonight.” Conner replied and Murphy just shrugged.
“Ha. Funny Conner… No he’ll do the hit with you tonight… out of curiosity who are you two hitting tonight?”
“The Russian.” Murphy stated as he got up from his sitting position and was behind me in a flash, his hands were resting on my waist as he started leaning in.
“Not now Murph.” I said and turned to Conner. “Alright, well I’ll be in late as well… Got a business thing planned.”
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The Saints and the sinister "Angel" (BDS/ Murphy Macmanus)
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