Donna d'onore

Another side

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Badgal
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It was already morning. I just woke up and I felt a little bit dizzy. Probably from last night. I can't believe I acted like that, but I don't feel sorry. It was just too much to handle. The glass was filled and it took only one little drop of water to throw everything.

The maid comes inside:
"Signora come siete oggi?" (Miss how are you today?)

"Bene grazie."-I say and take the breakfast table.

I drink a little bit of apple juice, ate two slices of mango and go to the window of my room. I open it and I could feel the wind in my skin, the scent of the sea. All I could seem to do was think about yesterday. The fighting, the screaming and most important Domenico holding me. Did I really heard what he said yesterday?.. No I probably imagined it. He doesn't feel sorry for anyone. He doesn't have remorse, conscience...

Maybe, but think about the way he held you last night, caressed your hair, laid in bed with you when you were crying...-the voice inside me spoke...

No, he did it because he wanted to control me. ...But than I only feel in peace when he is around me, when he touches me it's like nothing exists anymore...

My thoughts are interrupted when the door opens by the exact person I was just thinking about, Domenico.

He looks at me for the little bit and comes inside.

"How are you feeling?"-he asks in a slow, low voice. Of course showing power and strength like always.

"Good, do you really care?"-I ask him.-"Or was that a situation you weren't familiar with and want to see if you handled it okay."-I say in a low voice.

"Yes I wanted to see how I handled it."-he says (of course).-"I had never seen you in that condition before, I didn't knew you felt so much pain inside."

"And you wanted to control it like everything else you do, you wanted to put it back to my soul were it was supposed to."

"Now you are wrong, calm it maybe, control it no. I have been through pain and the worst thing someone could ever do is lock it inside them. That's why I wanted to see how I have handled it, how have I calmed you down, to see if you were okay, if I was able help you overcome your pain. And not because I'm a controlling person."-he says in the calmest, deepest voice I have ever heard. He seems to handle it pretty well.

"Do you really care as much as you say? I don't think so."-I say looking in his eyes.

He comes closer to me and takes my hand:

"At that moment all I wanted to do was protect you, make sure you were okay."-he says, but I could tell that he regretted saying that after. Why?

He clears his throat and tries to ignore what he said.

"So, you haven't been out in days. Get dressed we are going outside."

After that he gets out leaving me alone again.
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I started getting dressed. First I put on my makeup. I looked terrible. All that yelling and crying from last night seemed to have an effect on my appearance, no doubt.

I wear a beige pencil skirt with the long sleeve crop top. Put on my heels, get my Prada bag and go outside of the house.

Domenico was waiting for me outside. He was dressed more... Casual than usually. Still classy, but not very formal.

"Come on, let's go."-he says and opens the door of the car.
............."...............
We stop in the center of the city and Domenico gets out of the car. He opens the door of my side of the car and says:"We are taking a walk."

He locks the car and we start walking.

"What's up with you and these walks?"-I ask him.

"I like them."-he says.-"I think that there is no better way to know a person than taking a walk with him. You could see them in the eyes without being distracted unlike cars or restaurants."

"I see. Well that didn't really worked out the last time we took a walk. From what I recall you got all serious and aggressive."-I say-"There is something I want to ask you."

"What is that?"-Domenico says.

"Did you said anything last night?"-I ask him.

"Last night? Only telling you to stop. Why? Did you heard something?"-he asks looking suspicious.

"I don't know, something like you felt more bad than I did or something like that."-I say trying not to give importance to the subject.

"No, you must have imagined it."-he dryly says. Why do I have a feeling he is lying?

We keep walking in the promenade when a little boy comes to us. He was a little bit dirty and his clothes seem to be old.

"Signore, signora avete qualcosa per me? Forse un po di pane o un euro?" (Sir, ma'am do you have something for me? Maybe a little bit of bread or one euro?)

I could see the kid was poor and I felt bad for him. He was very skinny and he looked tired. Maybe he hasn't eaten.

Domenico raises his pants in the level of his ankles and sits down in order to be in the boy's level.

"Dove sono i tuoi genitori?"(Where are your parents?)- He asks him.

"Mia mamma è malata e mio padre è andato a bere."(My mother is sick and my father went drinking)

Poor kid. "Hai fame?"(Are you hungry?)-I ask him.

"Si."(Yes)-the boy says and shakes his head.

"Come."-Domenico says and takes the hand of the boy.

After five minutes we go to a store that sells bread and sweets.
Domenico takes one bread, 2 panettone and different types of sweets. He gives them to the boy along with fifty euros.

"Here. Buy some clothes and things you need."-he says and smiles to the boy.

I was speechless. I never thought the man I was watching could be this caring. This is a complete other side of him. A side I have never seen before.

The boy smiles and I could see happiness in his eyes.

"Grazie signore. Tu sei un bon uomo e la tua ragazza è cosi bella. Come una principessa. Grazie mille." (Thank you sir. You are a good man and your girlfriend is so pretty. Like a princess. Thank you very much)-the boy says and hugs all of us, than starts walking away.

"E non manggi tutto da solo. Dai un po a tua mamma."(And don't eat everything by yourself. Give something to your mom.)-Domenico says.

"Well that was something else. I didn't knew you had this side."-I say.

"What, you thought I was going to ignore him? or hurt him?"-Domenico says.-"I am not a good man, but I would never hurt a child, or innocents. that's not what I do."

"Well you are feared."-I say.

"True, and that's how I want it to be. I want to show power and my enemies to fear me. that's the only way to protect what I have and make more."

"Fear is not love."-I say to him.

"No it's not, but it's the most important thing in the world we live. It's power and when appreciated that power is turned into respect and that's what I want. In our world you can't solve conflicts with hugs and take territories with kisses, you can't forgive when someone betrays you because someone else is going to built the courage to do it. You have to make him a lesson. To protect your place."

Maybe bad, but he was actually right. I have been part of this world and I know a little bit how it works. That's what my father did and what everyone else in the business does. Maybe Domenico was right.