The Terror #wattys2017 #TNTHorrorContest

A question for Jimmy

"There is something I wish to say to you, that I have never said to anyone, perhaps not even my very self, before. There is a great inside part of me that is subdued, I do not feel this part, but some other part of me keeps something held at bay.

Sometimes it feels as if it's a giant raging red angry troll, that dies to lash out and cause pain and breakage to people. Other times I take up swords with that thing which holds it back so that no great evil is done, no un-apologize-able harm is bestowed upon some unlikely soul who may or may not deserved such a fate.

It's as though there exists within me, the knowledge of all things, but somehow, the same thing that holds back the harm,  holds back the beauty that I may become as well. It is as if I cannot be the one thing without becoming the other, and the only edge I have is that I prefer one over the other. I wish to assist that which looks for the beauty and knowledge of things and wish to hold back that which may be the destroyer of those things.

I am only a young person and not yet a man, so I ask you, Jimmy, is this an unusual state for a teenaged boy? Is this a struggle that is foreign to other people; do we all have this thing inside that tears us from both directions, that makes us decide which is good and which is not? 

Having never spoken these words aloud before I have to believe it has something to do with your presence in my life at this time. Perhaps it is the boiling over of these things, this quickening in my heart that has led me to you in some unknowable way that feels like destiny. 

So tell me, Mr. Jimmy, am I special or unusual in some way that I have yet to understand?"

Everyone in the kitchen had paused, paying rapt attention to what I was saying. Even I was surprised at the question I just stated, it sounded as if I had given this a lot of thought and it poured out of me as a speech. Something was changing in me, something I didn't understand.

"That was a well stated, question, Merrill," Answered Jimmy. 

Silently, everybody's head swiveled over to Jim, waiting to see what he was going to say next.   

"One thing for sure, you are a lot more a Man than many men I have known, and yes, everyone has this struggle that you so eloquently speak of. What is different about you young Merrill, is you recognize it, and that indeed is less than usual. All your friends here know this to be true, that you are somehow tuned in, more feeling, compassionate and thoughtful than your average human being."

Everyone's head at the table was silently nodding in agreement.

He continued, "I haven't experienced a shift in the ether like this for a very long time son, you are more than special or peculiar, you are extraordinary, unique and significant. You are going to have a rough road ahead of you but you won't be facing it alone. Everyone here tonight will stand with you as you progress to the place, that somewhere inside of you, you knew you were going all along. Even though we are going to have to deal with these characters that are attracted to you from the other side, for you son, this is only the beginning. Do you understand Merrill?"

This wasn't the first time people have tried to convince me I was special. Teacher's, coaches and my friend's parents had all made little comments about my specialness. I always wrote it off to my being a nice person and having good manners.

"I hear what you're saying, but it's a little over the top, really. I try to be a good person and I realize I have an understanding nature and stuff but what the hell has that got to do with seeing the dead? Everybody is special in some kind of way, I'm not sure I like the responsibility of what you are alluding too, sir. It sounds like I'm in over my head and I also don't like the idea of being 'exceptional!" I used two fingers to make air quotes.

"Regardless of what you like, I'm afraid if you want to have some kind of control over these apparitions, you're going to have to come to terms with your causation and of course, The Terror."

Jimmy then walked over to the tea pot, lifted it and swirled the contents around.

"More tea anyone?"