If You Dare (Finnick O'Dair)

There's always somebody out there who's better than you, someone who is always after you, someone who is only there to push you back down when you get up. For me, that was basically the whole of Panem.

Saturday.

My name is Renae Hawthorne, victor of the 68th annual hunger games. I have long sky black hair and I'm 5ft 9 (with my heels on) I'm not like your typical girly girl- I don't like pink and I sure as god hate the pink fluffy dresses that every woman in the Capitol is confusingly obsessed with. I'm the type of girl who never has her black eyeliner and mascara off of her face. Im the girl who got dogs abuse for dying her hair pure black. I'm the type of girl who only has to look at a flower and it dies. Im the type of girl whom you might call goth. I'm the type of girl who stands up for what she believes in. I'm the type of girl whom you might call pessimistic. I'm the type of girl that the whole of panem hates.

I wasn't always like this. I was normal once upon a time and it lasted a whole 12 years, until I was called up onto the reaping stage after hearing my name being called out. I was ruined. Ruined at the age of 12 years old. A twelve year old is supposed to go around picking flowers, singing lullabies as she skips off to school. A twelve year old is supposed to be free of any pressure and just enjoy life. But that's not how my year of being a twelve year old was like. There were no flowers in that arena, I wasn't singing lulibies- I was singing songs of tears as I cried myself to sleep every night wanting my mom and Gale to wake me up and tell me it was all just a dream, telling me that they were going to protect me against any evil that would proceed any further in my life. I wasn't free of pressure, I had the whole of panem on me shoulder, watching my every move. I had to kill people. I had to watch people killing other people. I couldn't enjoy life, I still don't enjoy life. My life just isn't worth enjoying any more.

Currently, I live in the Capitol. They love me here which is more than I can say about back home in district 12. They all hate me back there because I'm a traitor and stuff. Whatever. I can't say that I feel the same way towards the Capitol, they're all heartless swines but they want me here and as much as I miss 12, here is where I belong.

I used to live with my mother, my older brother Gale, two younger brothers Vick and Rory and my little sister Posy. I was asked to leave 12 by the Capitol. They wanted me over there to be a mentor for the next people that would proceed into the arena. Tributes. And let me tell you something- when the Capitol call, you answer. Not because it's a pleasure talking to them but simply because you have to or they'll make you regret it for the rest of your life.

Today, however, I'm back in district 12, at the reaping which destroyed the life that was very much still alive in me back then and I was about to watch two other peoples life get ruined by the same virus which is the Capitol.

Do you want to know the reason Panem hates me? Do you? Well I'll tell you. It's because I sided with the Capitol in the rebellion. The rebellion that killed many people in the whole of Panem. Even in my very own district. Your probably thinking, "Why would you do that?" I done it for my family. If I didn't side with them, they were going to kill every single member of my family. I also heard a rumour going about that I was actually the person who dropped the bombs on district 13. That's not true. There's a lot of rumours out there about me but don't believe any of them.

My family may hate me but I still love them enough not to let anybody kill them. They still live in my house, the one in the victors village. The house that I earned by winning the hunger games. They still live on the money that comes in every month from the Capitol, the money that I won but yet they still hate me. But yet, I'm still a disgrace to my family.

I walked around the main square of the district very slowly. I wasn't in any sort of a rush, even though the reaping started in 10 minutes.

People were staring at me and mumbling to each other words that I couldn't make out. I had a few scowls thrown my way and I'm pretty sure that a few people stabbed me in their minds. I was guided by two peacekeepers by my side. Don't ask my why their called peacekeepers, whenever their near, trouble is bound to irrupt and normally, they're the main predators of that trouble.

On my way to the reaping stage, I walked past a bakers with the most beautiful cake in the window. Hand decorated, chocolate, 4 layers, it looked fabulous. I stopped and stated for a moment dropping my mouth.

I'm not really a big eater. I hate breakfast, I never have time for lunch and I can never be bothered making dinner. Back in the Capitol, I lived a few minutes up the street from a bakery/grocery store so quite often i'd find myself going down there for fruit or cakes or whatever I was in the mood for. I had a fridge and a freezer in my apartment but I hardly ever used them. Whose got the time to go shopping anyways? I know I don't.

"Hi how can I help you" a boy with blonde hair asked as soon as I walked in

"Can I have that cake in the window" I asked,

"Sure" he replied with a laughed, "It's hand made by the way" he said as he picked up the cake from the window display.

"Yeah? By who" I asked keeping my eyes on the cake.

"Me. I do all the cakes in here" he replied

"Awesome, well you do a damn good job. They all look amazing." I said truthfully.

"Thanks" he replied with a blush.

I took my cake, placed the money on the counter and left letting the sound of my black ankle boots fill up the outside air with their clicking echo noise.

******

So, what do you think? This is just a taster before the real story beging. I know I said Finnick O'Dair Fanfiction but trust me, it will come, just give it time!

Rebecca :)