The Girl of Time (Doctor Who Fan-fiction)

Chapter 39

"Let me help."

"No."

"Please."

"Even if I manage to get you here, I'll be hacking up a lung for a week."

"Then get me there, and at least let me take care of your house."

"Alyssa," I say, sitting up, "I will not leave you on an alien planet while I go venture off to Nowheresville: extraterrestrial addition."

"You know what I'm going to say."

"Then don't say it." I move the phone to my other ear.

"-Call him, he can drop us off, and we can explore nowheresville all we want!" She exclaims.

"I don't want to."

"He could even give you somewhere to start, he might know things we don't."

"Which is exactly why I'm not calling him."

"Please, do it for me!" She says, like a child begging for extra dessert.

"Alyssa," I groan, "I...I'll think about it."

"Thank you, gosh. I'm hanging up, call him."

"Bye." I hang up the phone, and stare at it. I twirl it around in my hands for a second, contemplating whether to carry out her request or not. Mmm...Sorry Alyssa, not today, I decide. I toss the phone onto my table, and head out the door, wanting some fresh air. I've been cooped up inside for too long.

I march up the hill behind my house, and gaze out at the view. I can just barely make out a tree line in the distance. One day, when I was bored, I trekked out far into the woods. After getting about a mile through the trees, there was a clearing, and I found a little resort, which had long since shut down. It took me less then a minute to break in, and I spent the rest of the day exploring the interior. It was fun.

That being said, this was back when I thought everything made sense. Back when I thought I knew who I could and couldn't trust. Back when I just accepted my life as I knew it. Those days are over. Now, I don't know what to think.

I take one last look at the horizon, then I teleport back into my dining room, and sit into one of the eight chairs at the wood table. I always thought it was funny, having a table that seated eight. I don't exactly have anyone over, and even if I did, I would only be able to fill up maybe half the table anyway. I don't have friends in the plural sense. I've got Alyssa, who's basically the Wilson to my House. And I don't know what to think of the Doctor anymore. He's getting the befit of the doubt right now. That's really it for my friends.

I've just been in denial for so long. I don't need anyone. I don't need anyone. I don't need anyone. I've been repeating it like a ritual.

But I've realized in the recent days that I've been lying to myself. It's not that I don't need anyone, it's that I don't want anyone. I've been distancing myself too much from everybody I care about. What's worse is that I've been pretending that I'm okay. Now I know the truth. I might as well have a table for one.

I slide my left hand across the table and grab a crumpled, water-stained scrap of paper I've been using as a list. Although, I'm pretty sure I'll be dead before I manage to finish it.

It's a list of places, of locations, cities, planets, anywhere that the rest of the journal could possibly be. Which in retrospect, could be literally anywhere. I'm sure I was acting smart when I hid it, that's what makes this difficult. I would've hidden this journal somewhere clever.

Like an idiot.

Because idiots are people who think they are clever, and then act on it.

And I'm a clever idiot.