Unexpected (Robsten Fanfiction)

21 | Blessed

A/N Crack (i.e. crazy ass) humor ahead! 

Let's be real I went over the line of sensible, clean humor a few chapters back so if you've made it this far, you're probably good to go. 

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"Please."

"No."

"Just one last time."

"I said no."

"I really need it. Bad."

"Kristen, no."

"Please, daddy."

"Christ, Kristen. Don't call me that. I don't know if I should be turned on or weirded out because we're having a baby." Robert cringed as the thought ran through him. Sure, it was kinky and kinda hot when Robert and Kristen did it in bed, but now that he was really going to be a daddy, things were very much different now when she said it out of the bedroom.

"Well, we're not having a baby until you fuck me, so the sooner the better, Pattinson." Kristen said, gritting her teeth. She had been uncomfortable for the past few days, her pregnancy extending because she was supposed to be due five days ago, but labor hadn't come to her yet. 

They decided to go to the doctor's office, and they got some ideas as to how they could induce labor. 

There was eating spicy food, taking long walks, and the most effective one.

Good ol' fashioned sex. 

"Robert, please. Just one last time. Please, get this baby out of me."

"Kristen, I love you. You know that. But I do not want my cock to be the first thing the little one sees of me. That's not gonna happen."Kristen merely responded with a snort.

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm pretty sure the baby's already seen your cock, considering how many times we've fucked the past month." 

"That's different! You weren't supposed to pop out a baby yet." Robert argued.

"Oh fuck you. Actually, wait. Please. Fuck me." Kristen whines, curling up beside Robert. "Baby, I'm horny." 

"Trust me, I can't believe I'm saying this, but Kristen, I will not have sex with you!" Kristen pulled away, her face falling, showing her hurt and disappointment.

"Is it because I'm not as thin as before? Am I ugly? Do you not love me anymore?" She whimpered, adding a few tears for good measure. 

"You know that won't work on me. You can't just bullshit another actor, Kris."

"Come on. You just lie down, just pop it in there and I'll do the rest." Robert burst out laughing at Kristen's words.

"That's some dirty talk you got there, Stewart!" Kristen groaned as she leaned back on the couch, Robert immediately cuddling next to her. "Shh, baby. Don't worry. Our little one will be out before you know it." Suddenly, she had an idea. She climbed on his lap, her mouth on his ear as she whispered the naughty thoughts in her head.

"Come on, Robert. Don't you miss it? The feeling of me riding you. That tight, wet heat surrounding you. We can do it nice and slow. Then it builds up, faster and faster. You watch me bounce up and down your hard cock, your dirty girl getting herself off on you. You like that, don't you? "

She could hear him moan as she talked dirty to him, just like she knew he liked it. 

I'll break you, Pattinson.