Exchange

Chapter 29

So because it's nearly been three months since I last updated (cue the hate mail and insults) I recommend you guys read the last couple of pages from the previous chapter to jog the old memory. To help, I also added an extract from the end of chapter 28 to set the overall mood for this one. Enjoy.

~~~

I lay there, basking in Mason's warm and safe smell, and tried to stop the sobs that kept threatening to leave my chest. I pulled the material up over my face, soaking it as I silently cried, and distantly thought about how I had worn his hoodie on my first night here.

However, then it had only been the beginning. I was still yet to be introduced to the sweeter side of Mason Tanner. The side that made me laugh and blush and feel almost giddy with happiness. I was yet to experience the thrill of falling for him, the exhilaration of being challenged by him, the intense pleasure of being cared by him.

But now, lying alone in my shared dorm room for the last time, my eyes puffy, my head pounding and my tongue still bitter from the words that had left it only a while ago, I felt like it was all closing to a rapid end.

And it was through the realisation that I could do nothing, absolutely nothing, to prevent this foreboding end, where I experienced helplessness- real and utter helplessness- for the very first time.

~~~

It was no surprise that I woke up with a headache the next morning. Nor was it a surprise that my eyes were swollen, my skin blotchy, and my complexion unusually pale.

I looked awful. I felt awful. Period.

Silently, I looked over at Molly who was still sleeping soundly. Her heels from the night before were lying in a hazardous heap at the foot of her bed, however she had at least managed to hang up the dress.

As I quietly as I could, I took out the suitcase I had brought with me from home, and with a distinct heaviness in my chest, I began to pack away my belongings. Our taxi for the airport left in two hours, and I didn't want to be scrambling about last minute.

Dread and even fear had settled deep within my stomach at the thought of seeing Mason after last night. God, the things that had been said. The things I had said. Made even worse after discovering what yesterday meant to Mason.

I still hadn't completely come to terms with the fact that Mason's sister – Sarah, I reminded myself- had died. He had lost his sister and had kept it a secret all of this time. Surely people must have known? Perhaps his best friend Ryan knew?

No wonder he got so tired with keeping up his ever-carefree façade, constantly acting like all was okay whilst it wasn't.

I let out another sigh, feeling an awful ripple of sympathy for Mason. However, a small voice inside of me couldn't help thinking, I would have understood. If he had just told me-

But I quickly blocked it out, knowing I was thinking selfishly. Yes, I felt hurt and even frustrated that he hadn't shared his sister's death with me- perhaps all of this drama could have been avoided. However, the wiser and more empathising part of me knew he hadn't told me just to spite me, or because he hadn't wanted to, but rather because he couldn't.

I remembered him reciting those words right before our first kiss, and I understood now. It hadn't had anything to do with me. It was him. Telling meant reliving, and Mason obviously hadn't moved on from his grief yet.

Another thought suddenly popped into my head. Could this perhaps be why his mother had left? After Sarah's death had it all just become too much-

"Morning."