babygirl » hayesgrier

«twenty-five»

•kylie•

it's friday night, 4:00 in the morning and im crying my eyes out just thinking about my mom, the truth right now is i haven't left my room since i found out about her. cameron had tried getting me out every hour but nothing would work, he was upset himself and you could tell by his voice every time, it's just too hard i can't just go out and have fun knowing my mom just died, nothing will be the same.

my door was unlocked but i wasn't leaving. i haven't eaten at all this week which really bothered cam but i lied every time he asked and said i ate something and he didn't quite believe it but left it at that. i just sat up as the tears went down my face starting at my door thinking. why did she die so young? she doesn't deserve to be dead, i do. why out of all people my mother? I loved her. she's gone why would she leave me? i mi-

i got cut out my thoughts from my door creaking open, i knew it would be cameron but to my suprise it was hayes, he didn't see me because the light was off, he was trying to be as quiet as possible. "hayes, it's okay im not sleeping and i wasn't before" i said, he flicked the light on and saw me, he smiled then frowned, why? what happened? am i really that ugly?

i gave off a scared and insecure expression. "stop thinking that your ugly or something, you're not you're beautiful as always" he said and kissed me, i kissed back, i really needed him, so after we pulled away i hugged him the tightest i had ever hugged anyone in my whole entire life.

"woah, okay first thing kylie why are you up at four in the morning? second, why are you hugging me so tight, is something wrong? and third why are you crying at four in the morning?" he asked. i had to tell him everything as much as i didn't want to.

"well...first, i couldn't fall asleep, second, i just missed you and everything's not okay and it never will be, and third, im crying, i honestly haven't stopped crying since monday" i said as more and more tears seemed to come by the second, why did she have to go.

hayes sat down beside me and pulled me in a 'it's going to be okay' hug.

"okay tell me why you've been crying? and why you didn't tell me sooner" he said looking me straight in the eyes. i took a deep breath, knowing how cameron felt when he told me, it hurts to talk about it to someone with actual words.

"well...my m-mom, she uh d-died monday..." i said avoiding eye contact with him just looking at my hands as i played with my fingers. hayes lifted my chin up, wiped the tears away even though that wouldn't work, they still fell out my eyes. he kissed me lightly on the forehead. i rested my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat.

"kylie...you know i know exactly how you feel, why didn't you tell me, i would have came here so i could be with you because if i didn't have you when my mom died, i don't know how i would have got through it,miss something hard i know" he said, he was right, i should have told him but i didn't wanna ruin his trip.

"i would've told you...i just didn't wanna ruin you guys trip" i said. "you wouldn't have ruined it" he said.

"im sorry" i said still sobbing. "don't be" he said and stroked my hair as we sat there in silence. "i don't think i can ever live the same or be the same happy kylie" i said breaking the silence. "i know but you may get to a happy girl again just not right now, not in the next few weeks, not in the next few months, maybe not even years but it will happen you'll be okay" he said. "thanks"

"you need to get some sleep" hayes said and turned out the light, we layed there in the bed and i soon fell asleep to the sound of hayes heartbeat, the best sound i could ever hear.

***

"get ready" hayes said, i went in the bathroom and got dressed, i walked out and layed in my bed, i was on the verge of tears just thinking, but i wasn't gonna let myself cry, i had to be strong, my mom would want me to be strong for her so that's what i was going to do.

"come on we're going to see someone" hayes said, he literally forced me to go, we walked in the living room, cameron ran up and hugged me super tight, i hugged him back. "together we can get through it, cam while i am being forced to go with hayes to see whoever this is, promise me you won't cry, it was hard to promise myself not to, but we have to be strong for her" I said about to cry but didn't. he was the same. "we got this." he said and we linked pinkies.

"who's house is this?" i asked hayes as we got out the car. hayes knocked on the door three times. a man opened the door holding a baby, it was a boy. the man looked at me and almost cried. he let us in.

we sat on the couch, he sat down with the baby in his hand across from us. "im glad you could make it and bring her along" the man said.

"my pleasure, i know this may help kylie" hayes said, he let go of my hand, i just looked down about to cry thinking about her, but i didn't. "kylie, im gonna step out and let you talk to him okay, ill be in the car" hayes said and walked out leaving me alone with this stranger.

"hi kylie, im ricky" he said introducing me. "h-hi ricky" i said simple.

"i know how upset you are, i know your being strong, and that's exactly what your mother would want, we're all being strong for her, i was your mothers new husband, we had been married for a year when she died, but we had this beautiful baby boy, he will always remind me if your mother, she was beautiful and kind hearted, i told hayes to bring you here so you could see him" ricky said. i smiled slightly and took the baby in my arms. i looked down at the baby and he looked up at me and smiled, i smiled back at him. he looked exactly like my mother, you could see it.

"what's his name?" i asked looking up at ricky. "kayden" he responded.

"hi kayden" i said in a baby voice. he was so cute. he fell asleep in my arms so ricky took him and put him in his crib in his room. "your mother was a amazing women you know, when i first met her, she was a drug addict, always smoking, i helped her, she stopped it all, after she realized how dumb she was, she wanted to see you and cameron again, she missed y'all but she thought you guys hated her and she was so sorry, we got married soon after" ricky explained. "i miss her" i said as tears just streamed down my face, i promised but i just couldn't do it.

***

"im sorry, i couldn't do it" me and cam both said at the same time, he hugged me and i hugged him back, "it's too hard" i said.