babygirl » hayesgrier

«thirty-two»

•kylie•

im under way too much pressure about this baby and telling hayes, if i should even tell him, maybe i could just get an abortion and it will be as if nothing ever happened. i just don't know if im ready for this, yes it's what we want but maybe not what i want, i thought it was but maybe i was wrong, i can't do this.

i was currently sitting at our kitchen table drinking water and thinking about all this.

"you okay?" hayes asked and sat across from me and grabbed my hand in comfort.

"yeah, i will be okay don't worry." i said giving him a slight smile. "what will be okay? Is there something i should know about? have you threw up at all today or last night?" he asked getting worried again.

"it's nothing you need to worry about, and i haven't threw up at all, im fine hayes you need to stop worrying so much okay?" i told him. "im sorry, im just worried about you i don't want anything bad to happen to you, i love you even if something happened we didn't want to happen or you didn't want." he said, those words made it feel he knew i was pregnant but he doesn't, my eyes grew wide.

"oh...uh...why would you think something we didn't want happen?" i said stuttering a bit and he noticed and had a confused expression.

"i didn't say that, but now that you ask it seems like something is up with you, are you sure your alright? you know you can tell me anything right?" he said.

"look hayes nothing is up, im fine am i going to have to say it again!" i snapped at him and ran out the kitchen and outside, i sat in my car and called shelby.

s-hey what's up girly!
k-if i tell you something, can you promise you won't tell anybody not even my dad?
s- sure, need a friend to talk to? i won't tell anyone not even your dad, i promise
k-well it turns out i wasn't sick but instead im p-pregnant...
s-that's wonderful honey, isn't this what y'all wanted?
k-i thought, but im not so sure anymore, i don't know what to tell hayes.
s-take your time, i will keep your secret, if you wanna talk about it just call or text me
k-okay talk to you soon bye
s-bye kylie!

"what am i going to tell him?" i said to myself, i let all my tears pour out my eyes, everything was blurry to me from all the tears, i got cut out my thoughts by a knock on the car window, i rubbed my eyes so i could see clearly, it was hayes. i unlocked the doors and he sat in the passenger seat.

"kylie, im getting worried about you, are you sure your okay?" he asked. i calmed down a bit.

"hayes, im perfectly fine. and if i wasn't and i wanted your help i would tell you okay?" i said looking at him, he just nodded and looked down, it was silent, i put my hand over my stomach and looked down at it. "if only i was ready." i thought not realizing i said that out loud. Hayes looked at me in confusion.

"what are you talking about? not ready for what? and why are you holding your stomach, did you lie to me, are you really still sick?" hayes said throwing a bunch of questions at me.

"hayes, i have to tell you something." i said. "what tell me? what is it?" he asked as he grabbed my hand and held it in his, it was comforting.

"hayes, i know that we have talked about having a baby soon, and that we were ready, but i am not ready to have a baby yet, i thought i was, but im not and im sorry." i said as some tears rolled down my face.

"hey that's okay, we don't have to have a baby yet, if your not ready we will wait" he said, i just looked down in my lap.