babygirl » hayesgrier

《forty-four》

●kylie●

yesterday was a pretty painful day for me and cameron. after everyone left, even cameron around ten last night. i triee begging and begging him to stay but he kept denying.

he also kept saying. "i have very important things i need to do tonight" which was odd because he wouldnt tell me what.

he always tells me what.

when i finally had stopped begging him and he left i still wasnt telling hayes. he kept trying to get me to tell him what was going on but i wouldnt.

instead i played tea party with claire and her animals.

***

"mommy! mommy!" claire yelled excitedly running in the house holding a lot of stuffed animals, hayes following behind her shutting the front door. he was also holding a giant purple giraffe.

"oh lord claire did you make daddy buy you all these at the store?" i asked her. she nodded her head no fastly with a big bright smile on her face still.

"daddy won them for me at the fair!" she said giggling with excitement. she then ran upstairs with the animals in her hands. i heard the door shut.

i smiled at how adorable she was. it was currently one in the afternoon. i just woke up, i was up all night with thoughts about my mom and nonstop tears.

my hair looked crazy, i had a long sleeved sweatshirt typed shirt that was like ten times big on me that said "cry baby" writen across the front.

i had bought it when i saw melanie martinez in concert.

i had some nike type shorts on, you couldnt see them because my shirt was so big though. i was holding a coffee cup with coffee in it, drinking it.

i set down the cup on our island which was right beside me. hayes set down the giant purple giraffe on the couch.

he walked towards me and brought me in a nice, long passionate hug. something i needed and was glad he did.

i didnt even know or care why he was hugging me, i just hugged him back. during the hug a small tear fell from my eye. i closed my eyes.

we then pulled away, i then knew he remembered what yesterday was and thay was what the hug was for. i wiped my eyes witg my sleeve.

but it was no use, i was now full on sobbing, the tears just came and came. i no longer had control of themm they wouldnt stop.

hayes pulled me in another hug and when we pulled away the back of his shirt was soaking wet from my crying.

i laughed a little at that. "sorry for getting your shirt wet" i apologized giggling.

"dont be sorry. i could care less that my shirt was soaking wet, i didnt even notice. im such a terrible husband for forgetting about yesterday, and im so sorry kylie. your probably mad at me for it and i understand. just know i know exactly what your going through. its the same process and your a strong women. i love you so much kylie. i didnt wake you up this morning to come with us because you needed your sleep and time to think and do whatever. its hard i know, it does get better i promise, but its never any easier. i know that too" hayes said looking me straight in the eyes.

"thank you hayes." i smiled at him even though i was still a little upset about my mom.

"for what?" he asked me grabbing my hands and intertwining them with his.

"for being so sweet, not leaving me. for loving me because i know im annoying all the time. thank you for helping me through stuff like this. i love you" i said still smiling at him.

"you are annoying, but thats okay because i love it. im always going to be here no matter what" he said.

he then kissed me, the kiss lasted about thirty seconds. after we pulled away i smiled at him and pecked his lips once more.

***
"you cant leave me!" i said trying my hardest not to cry.

claire was upstairs sleeping because it was like after nine and she goes to bed early most of the time.

"im not leaving you forever" hayes said reassuring me he would be home in no time.

your probably confused right? yeah hayes just got informed that his other brother will lives in florida and plays on the football team.

well he knew that already, but he, nash and sky have to fly there tomorrow morning and stay there for two months.

"why do you have to go for two months anyways?" i asked him.

"its something we used to do with my mom every couple years, as you know tomorrows my birthday and it would have been my sisters too if she hadnt died when we were born. we try to do this every year but its hard but i always celebrate with or without them. we go to the graveyard shes in. its in florida and we throw a party with just me, nash, sky, will and it would be my mom too but now its not. we each would catch her up on our lives since we last visited her." hayes said.

"thats so sweet hayes." i smilef and hugged him trying to make him feel better, i knew he was on the verge of tears talking about his twin sister he never got to meet.

"im so sorry kylie. i hate talking about this and everytime it comes up and im not myself talking about it. i jusy feel like im letting you down" he said looking at me.

"hayes..no no no, your never letting me down, i understand i feel the same when my mom comes up. i dont know how it feels for you because ive never lost a sibling that was like my twin like you, ill never understand how you feel but dont ever think that you are letting me down because your not. hayes tomorrow is you and your sisters birthday, your gona see her again in florida, just worry about that dont worry about me. you dont even have to text or call me the whole time your there. this is a time for you and your sister, not me" i said looking at him.

"i will still talk to you, trust me i cant not that would jusy kill me, ill call you every night im there i promise" he reassured me.

"okay and i promise ill answer. im going to miss you so much  hayes." i said frowning.

"me too." he said.

i then leaned my head on his chest and he grabbed a blanket and put it over us.

"i..love you." hayes said before we both fell into a deep sleep.

***
"i will call you as soon as i land okay" hayes said and kissed me. "okay, i love you, please be safe." i told him. he pulled me in a hug.

"happy birthday babe" i whispered again when he let go.

he then leaned down to claire and hugged her tight.

she was crying her eyes out. shes definetly a daddys girl.

"i dont want you to go" she cried in his arms. he picked her up and spined her around.

"ill be back before you know it babygirl." he told her. he then kissed her head softly and set her down.

"i love you daddy!" she said.

"i love you too princess. goodbye" he said frowning and hugged her one last time.

he then kissed and hugged me one last time.

"goodbye babygirl" he whispered in my ear before walking away to board the plane with nash and sky.

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    -rylieee 💖💖