Soul Song ~ Book One

Chapter Twenty-Three

A year made Mirabella a year closer to being able to covenant, and a year further away from Damien. At first, she thought he might come back, choose her over becoming a monster. Run away with her and never look back. While part of her wanted that, the larger part knew better. He couldn't do it. He couldn't risk the lives of the Healers for his own personal gain.

Even though a year had passed, the acute pain and longing for him did not. On the outside, she was the model student, learning as she always had. On the inside, her heart raged against her chest, begging to be let out to go find that which makes it beat.

Grandmother hoped the melancholy she could feel in her granddaughter would pass, but still feeling it after a year, she attempted to help alleviate it.

"Mirabella, child, you must find a way to work through this." Grandmother tried one evening as they sat beside the fire. As they did every evening, Grandmother and Mirabella both worked on mending, but tonight, Mirabella spent more time staring into the fire than she did sewing. Mirabella's gaze lowered in acknowledgement of her grandmother speaking, but never left the fire. "You do no one any good, especially yourself, when you are like this. Tell me, what can I do to help you?"

Misty eyed, Mirabella was silent, her fingers twisting the frayed edges of the rug she sat on.

"I would that I could see Damien again...just once," she answered, tears brimming. "My heart aches for him. If I could but lay my eyes on him, only for a moment..." She knew her words were hollow. If she saw him, she would have to hold him. And if she held him, she would have to stay with him, and there was no amount of risk that could keep her away after that.

"Dearest, he didn't want you to see him," Grandmother looked back to her sewing. "It's best that way, I think."

It took a moment for the words to sink in. Confused, Mirabella looked up at her grandmother. "Didn't...?"

Seeing her mistake, Grandmother stayed silent, hoping Mirabella wouldn't press if she stayed quiet. No such luck.

"Grandmother, has he returned? Did he come here and you not tell me?" Mirabella watched the old woman's face as she stabbed the cloth with her needle. Her silence struck Mirabella in the gut. "He did...he did come...When? Why didn't he see me? Why didn't you tell me?" Frustrated with the continued silence, Mirabella slapped her hand on the dirt floor with a muffled thump. "Grandmother, why didn't you tell me?"

Grandmother pulled in a steadying breath and fixed her gaze on Mirabella's accusing glare. "Mirabella, he came to us a broken man. He needed help, but there was none we could give him. He was Changed and hoped to return to being a human. He was adamant you not see him in that form. Can you truly blame him?"

"But, I love him. I pledged myself to him," she broke the gaze, shaking her head. "Did that not mean anything?" She asked, more to herself than to her grandmother. It felt as though someone were pressing her ribs inward. It was becoming harder to breathe. Grandmother sunk to her knees before Mirabella pulling her into an embrace.

"Of course, my dear, of course it meant something to him. It would have hurt him to have you see him as he is now. He couldn't take the risk you or your Magiks would reject him."

Mirabella allowed herself to sag against her grandmother. Thoughts clamored in her head, fighting for dominance. Didn't he understand? I pledged everything to him...everything! Not just until he Changed, but for all life, even half-lives. How could he betray me and come without telling me? How could he stay away from me? Then a thought cut through her mind, its white-hot truth searing the darkest recesses. Maybe he doesn't love me as much as I love him. It made sense...sense she didn't want to hear. But a year...it was a long time...and when he came, he didn't come for her. She had to force herself to admit it was a possibility. The predicament Grandmother had warned about was coming true.