Being A Single Parent (Pt. 1)

its dat boi

I ran down the stairs with my empty mug of tea and opened the door. Letting in Andy to our home and Joe.

I greeted them with no words and they went to sit on the couch while I went to the kitchen to make more tea for myself.

"So Carter where's your dad?" Andy spoke and I poured the booking water into my mug.

"He went to go get some um medication for me." I cleared up my voice and walked into the living room. It was cold outside. In fact it was almost Halloween but this year I might skip. Meaning it's almost my birthday. October 31. It's a week before my mom's death. I blanked out and walked up the stairs carefully not wanting to fall but at the same time I would love to fall. I heard the front door and the sound of keys. Dads home.

"Till dinner then." Joe said. He coughed and I turned back once I got on the last step and looked down to the living room.

"I guess."

I walked to my room and placed my mug on my desk and laid in bed with Tate. He got back into his position like before and I moved away.

"You're sad," Tate says out of nowhere and I look up at him. "Aren't you?"

"No," I answer plainly.

"You're lying. I know what sadness looks like."

Silence.

"Its okay to be sad." He scooted closer to me, pulling me close to me but I got up from my bed.

"I understand."

"No you don't!" I laugh out.

"Yeah I do, I understand what it feels to be sad, worried, to be--"

"Okay and? So does everyone else. You haven't seen what I've seen, you haven't heard what Ive heard."

"That doesn't mean I can't comfort you."

"I dont need you comfort!" I shout.

"Why do you even push people away? People generally care! And you fuck it up! Maybe I don't get it but doesn't mean I can't be concerned."

"No one asked of you to care when I never asked you to!"

"That's why I'm here for--"

"Oh, please! You really believe I cared! We both knew we were broken when we meet!"

"Thanks." Tate said, getting up. "You and I both know you don't mean that."

"And who are you to determine that," I say. "A guy?"

"You know what Fuck you Carter!" He shouted.

"Get out!"

"You--"

"Shut up and get the fuck out!" I yelled and he stormed out of my room leaving his leather jacket. I walked out my room to see the guys looking at me.

"I love you Carter. At least that's what I think. Bye Mr. Stump." He waved and walked out our home. I walked into my room and looked at his jacket and threw it on the floor and stayed still. What the fuck did I just do.

......

I saw Andy and Joe leaving. I walked back down the stairs and hugged my dad. Breathing in a breath of air and started to shake.

"Shh." Dad hugged me back and I started to cry. All I wanted to do was cry.

Tate meant a lot to me. To much. After being heartbroken once I don't think I can handle that. I hiccuped and cried more. He was right. I pushed people to easily.

"What if it's my fault." I sobbed and he comforted me. Trying his best.

"Shhh it's gonna be okay. It's no one's fault if you guys drift apart." He hummed and I cried silently.

There's some thing I haven't told anyone. No one knows. Tate and I have had some sexual relationships before we even dated. I knew him before. He was broken down. I on the other hand had just gotten out of a relationship with the jockey Matthew.

"I never asked for him to love me." I spoke and he stayed still.

"That's the best part tho." He kissed my head and I cried more. I screwed up.

.......

"Who's jacket is that?" My dad walked into my room as I cleaned my desk.

"Tate's."

"Oh." Is all he could say.

"Get some rest. Tomorrow we both go to Petes house so you can spend some time with him." He walked over o me and turned off the small lamp. I hugged him.

"Bed time story?" I asked and he chuckled.

"Still have the book?" He asked and i nodded. Opening a drawer and pulled out Little Women. Handing it to him. He turned on the lamp by my bed and I got in. He tucked me in and I looked at him. He opened the boom from where we last left off. Putting the bookmark on the bed and starting to read.