broken boy ❀ stiles stilinski

Is this acceptance?

I was a what?!
I have no freaking idea what he is on about.
What the hell is a chimera?!
I look at his face and see no sign of him telling any lies. I start to think that even though I don't know what he is talking about, he is saying the truth. I know that I shouldn't believe him. I should never join what I consider to be the enemy. But there's something that I can't quite grasp yet that makes me feel like I should follow him. It feels like a kind of submissive emotion.
I don't like it. Not one bit.
Theo notices that I don't know how to answer him. He  takes a few long breaths and continues as I'm not able to do so.
'I can see you're confused and that's completely normal. That's why I came here. I'm here to help you and get through all of this together....-'
He continues to talk some things I completely ignored because a thought crosses my mind. The fact that he's talking to me like I've known him for years. Like we've always been really close friends. I find it sick. Even though we haven't spoke to each other my heart will always desire that one person that had been with me through the bad and he good times with me. That one who always cared. That boy that had been my best friend.
I feel something in my eyes, that's when I notice that they are watering.
I don't want to show weakness in front of Theo but I can't help but thing of him.
I can't believe I allowed my emotions to control all my actions. I can't believe I was the one that tore him apart. I never wanted to hurt him. That wasn't the plan.
Apparently Theo kept talking through all this but I'm sure he noticed. I mean what doesn't he notice. That's when I remembered. Chimera. I need to know what that is before my mind bursts out of my skull due to curiosity.
I stare at the ground. 'What exactly is a chimera?' Once I say it I notice that my voice is starting to tremble a bit. Anxiety and fear getting to me.
He keeps staring at me but I can't dare to look at him. He just makes me think of him. Everything he says triggers a thought in my head which leads to another one and another one. It just ends in a crazy rollercoaster inside my mind that doesn't seem to stop at any point. Unless I'm dead.
Theo cuts my thinking.
'You're basically now part of the supernatural club. Well not quite. I mean you're technically a supernatural creature but as you may know you weren't bitten. You have to know that there is an enemy in all of this. And you have escaped them for now. They're the ones that changed you. And I'm here to help you.'
He keeps saying that. He is here to help me. What does that even mean? Help me in what?
'I don't understand.'
I finally show him that I'm confused as hell by everything happening at this moment.
He smiles and confidently says: 'I want you to join my pack.'
Those words hit me like a truck on the top of my skull. I didn't know what to say.
I've always been part of Scott's pack. But I left them. I made them hate me. I can't go back and just try to act normal around them. It would be way too awkward.
I want to have more time to think about the answers I could possibly give to these kind of questions. But time seems to be something I'm constantly running out, doesn't it.
There's a voice in the back of my head that's yelling at me to say no. Just decline the offer.
But most of my thoughts keep swirling around the idea that if i say no he might hurt me. And If I don't say yes I would end up all alone. Because I put myself in this position. It never was the...nogitsune. It never was.
It was always me. All this time. I just never wanted to admit to myself that my life was doomed to end horribly. That my mind is insane. Maybe the nogitsune was just an idea in my head. Maybe I created all of this to hide the fact that my friend is in fact dead.
That Scott is dead.
I finally lift my head up and stare at him who's looking me with such curiosity as if he is trying to guess what I'm thinking about.
I inhale once and then exhale.
'Okay. I'll join your pack.'

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