broken boy ❀ stiles stilinski

I am not me anymore...

'We have to be quick though. So I'm going to summarise it as much as possible.' Scott looked at me before looking at everyone as a form of agreement that he was going to be the one to speak for the rest.

'First things first, as you can probably see, Derek is not here, in fact, he left, I don't know the exact reason why, I think it's something to do with his sister but yeah.'

I had noticed the absence of certain people but I didn't want to mention it, to avoid uncomfortable conversations.

'Kate came back to life and teamed up with Peter and we had to defeat creatures called the berserkers which she somehow controlled. Then came the benefactor who was paying money for the killing of all supernatural creatures in Beacon Hills. It ended up being a patient from Eichen House called Marina? Me- Meredith! That's it!'

I don't mean to be rude and not hear what he is saying but it's just to much to take in at once. Kate and Peter? Wasn't she dead? And that name Meredith, sounds familiar.  I don't know from where but I swear I've heard it before.

'Iles? Stiles!'

His voice echoed through the room even though I didn't hear him until later.

'Yeah?' I tried to act normal but it was too obvious I wasn't paying attention to everything he was saying. And it doesn't helped that my own voice betrayed me and cracked a bit.

'Are you alright?' He genuinely looked concerned. I guess he is also on edge and I'm not helping at all.

'Yeah I'm completely fine just go on.' I spoke way too quickly and in a higher pitch. That is what happens when I get anxious and right now I feel like they all are watching me and judging me. I can physically feel they're eyes looking all over me. I can sense that they're thinking about me. All of this is making me more anxious by the minutes. What is going to happen after this? Are we just going to go in and attack like we do this everyday. They probably have but me? I'm useless and they know it.

'Well as I was saying. Malia is now part of the pack as you probably already knew and we've discovered her biological father and her biological mother's identity. You probably won't believe this but Malia's father is...Peter'

'Wait! Our Peter? As in Hale? Peter freaking Hale?' He really seems to be struggling to recap everything that has happened. I guess it hasn't been nice at all by the fact they all looked really tired of fighting. I wouldn't blame them. I would blame me. I always choose the wrong decisions and cause everyone pain.

'Yes. Peter. He also...tried...to undo...his actions...'
Scott seems upset.

'What actions?' I really don't like the sound of this.

'He tried to...kill me...'

'Kill you! For what? Why would he?'

'He wanted to become the Alpha so the only way was by killing another alpha...and that was me..' He is uncomfortable. 'But we stopped him and he is now in Eichen House.'

'Wait what? Why is he in Eichen House?' He is a werewolf he can definitely get out if he wants. Why would he-

As if he read my thoughts Scott replied. 'He is in the supernatural wing don't worry.'

He says for me not to worry but with all the bad things he keeps saying it's hard to stay calm for even a second.

'You already know about Liam but we also have Parrish.'

Parrish? As in deputy Parrish? The Parrish that works with my dad at the police station?

'He was in the list of the Benefactor and no one knew why. Not even him. In the end we found out that he is a HellHound. So he knows about us and he will help us if needed. Malia recently defeated her mum because apparently she was out to kill her. She went by the alias The Desert Wolf. And I almost got turned into a berserk if it weren't for Liam.'

Some of the things he is telling me make no sense to me. I don't know if it's that or the fact that I keep getting distracted by the medical posters behind him. But whatever it is I just can't handle all this. I practically missed their deaths while I was gone. They all could have died during that time. But what a surprise! They are alive, obviously because I wasn't there to kill them. I would have been the cause of many deaths.

'Lastly but not the least. Dr. Valack. He created the Dread Doctors in Eichen.'

I feel as if the air got colder. Or maybe it's just me. Why does his last words affect me so much? There is something about it that is poking at my memories. I can't quite comprehend what it is though?

'The...dread...doctors...how...do they look...like?' My voice is trembling. I am afraid of what he's going to say. I feel like I'm starting to guess but I just don't want to think about that. Because when I do, it makes me think about the future and how screwed I am. I am basically death walking with the living. I should not be here with them.

'They looked kind of like robots. They...are tall and walk very slowly. They are made of metal from head to toe.' Scott was definitely trying to remember how they look like, completing a puzzle in his brain.

'Do these doctors...do they wear masks?' I ask. My hands are sweating as I grab the edge of the table in front of me. My grip on it getting stronger by every second passing.

'Yeah. Why?' Scott said confused.

I knew it was bad when he first mentioned them. They seemed familiar yet I didn't get it at first.

When it happened I could barely see them but now the image is clear. The mask. The test tubes. The knifes. The syringe. Everything came back to me and hit me hard in the head. The memories. The screaming. The crying. The struggle.

All of it came back at once.

I looked at Scott straight in the eyes as he looked scared. Probably scared of me.

'I can't do this anymore.' I said before all I could see was darkness. But not a peaceful darkness.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
20k!! Actual madness! :) thank you sooo much!

P.S. I wrote this on my phone and not on my laptop. So if there is anything that is spelt wrong or grammatically incorrect pls tell me :)