Please, Kindly Stay with Me

We'll Get a Double Order of Puns

                                                                      -=X=-

We walked in the door, and Sans introduced me to some people, one of them being Lesser Dog. We sat at the counter. I heard a farting noise, and I realised Sans put a whoopee cushion on the seat.

"Whoops. Watch where ya sit down. Jokers are always putting whoopee cushions on the seats."

Grillby, the owner, was cleaning a glass. I thought Toriel was strange, being a talking, walking goat, but this Grillby guy was a flame in a suit. Literally. He had glasses, but I couldn't see his eyes or mouth. By this point, I truly knew this was nothing like home.

"What would ya like, Jess?" I looked at the menu.

"A burger, please."

"That sounds pretty good. Hey, Grillbz, we'll have a double order of the burg." Grillby nodded and went through a door that said 'Fire Exit.' Below that it said, 'Unless you're made of fire, you cannot come through.' I giggled. Good one, Grillby.

"You come here often, don't you? Everyone seems to know you."

"Yes to both. This is where I like to go and unwind, ya know? Drink a bottle of ketchup, talk to Grillby, and get away." Sans pulled out a green comb and combed his skull.

"Are you being a bonehead?" Sans grinned.

"Are ya kidding me? I'm always one." He put the comb away. "Puns aside for a moment, what do ya really think of Papyrus?"

"He's funny, kind, and pretty cool. When he has his mind set, he is usually determined to do it. Like join the Royal Guard."

"Yeah, he is. Ya know that outfit he's wearing?"

"Yes. It looks cool."

"True. Well, I made that for him for a costume party on Halloween. He hasn't worn anything else since." I gave him a confused look. Does he even—"Don't worry, he washes it. And by that, I mean he wears it in the shower."

"Sounds like something he would do. But you don't change what you wear either."

"Actually, that's not true. I just have many of the same outfit." Of course he would. "Jessey, can I ask you something?" He snapped his fingers, and the world stopped around us. "My brother told me something interesting the other day. He told me that a flower would come from nowhere when he was alone and tell him things: flattery, advice, encouragement... predictions." Sans looked around, likely making sure everything wasn't moving. "Weird, huh? I think Flowey is telling him these things. Don't tell anyone else though, okay?"

He snapped his fingers again, and the world resumed. Grillby came out with the burgers we ordered and a bottle of ketchup for Sans. Grillby must really know him.

"Here comes the grub." Grillby set the plates in front of us. "Looks good, Grillbz, thanks." Sans opened the ketchup and offered, "Want some?"

"Yes, please." I grabbed the bottle, and just before I poured it, I realised he, being the jokester that he was, probably opened it so it would spill everywhere. So I screwed the cap on tight and put a little on my burger.

"I knew you would do that. I felt it in my bones." I joked and handed him the bottle.

"Where are your pieces of evidence? I cal-ci-um." Hopefully I don't completely lose it like I did our last pun war.

"Well, you aren't exactly Sherlock Bones."

"In spine of that, I know ya can't prove anything."

"Stop, Sans, before I pass out again!" I was running out of breath quickly.

"Okay, okay. We'll try again to-marrow." Darkness.