I Can't Stop [Niam]

Chapter 6

I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and thank you so much ttotheiff for the wonderful cover you made me. I listed it on the side of this chapter.

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I woke up at 5 a.m. I was no longer in Liam’s grasp and I took that as my opportunity. I jumped out of the bed and crept to Liam’s window. The front door would create too much noise and Liam is an extremely light sleeper and if I don’t leave now I’ll miss my opportunity to leave for Liam wakes up at 6 most days.

I unlocked his window and tried to lift up as quietly as possible. I looked back every few seconds to make sure he was still asleep. Once I got the window opened up enough, I grabbed my back pack and crawled out the window. I tried to close his window when I got outside, but it wouldn’t budge. I just shrugged it off and continued on my walk home.

I only walked for about five minutes and I was completely exhausted. I lived two miles away from Liam and I don’t think I even made it half a mile yet. I hugged my arms to my chest to try to keep some warmth, I was so terribly cold and even Liam’s sweatpants and shirt weren’t keeping me warm.

I was getting more tired the more I walked. I just wished I was home already and that Greg and Denise were still asleep. After my mom died and my father telling me that he didn’t want me, Greg took me in. I’ve been living with him since I was ten.

I was completely exhausted by the time I reach the house, exhausted and extremely cold. I searched the plant outside the house for the spare key and let myself in. I only made it five steps in when I came face to face with a very angry Greg Horan.

“Jesus Niall! Where the fuck have you been?” He yelled out.

I flinched a bit at his yelling, but quickly recovered from it. “I was at Liam’s.” I mumbled out.

“Jesus Christ Niall! It’s Sunday! You’re telling me that you have been at Liam’s since Friday?” I just nodded at his question. “Damn it Niall! What the hell happened to your hand?”

I completely forgot about my hand. I sighed. “I got angry and punched Liam’s mirror, effectively breaking my hand.”

“And why did you get angry enough that you punched Liam’s mirror?” He asked giving me a disbelieving look.

“I found out I was failing a class Friday and I got so angry and I took it out on the mirror.” I just shrugged at the end.

“Niall are you taking your pills?” I take pills for my anger. I wasn’t lying earlier when I said that I had anger issues. I just shook my head. He sighed. “Of course you haven’t. You haven’t been home since Friday. Don’t you think it would have been a good idea to give me a call? Denise and I have been worried sick about you!”

Now I felt really guilty. “I’m sorry Greg; I won’t let it happen again. I promise.” I mumbled out again.

He sighed and patted me on the back. I tried not to flinch from the contact, but failed anyway. Luckily, he didn’t notice. “Well, we’re just happy to know you are ok. Come on, Denise made you something to eat.” He started to lead me to the kitchen.

I pulled away from him and starting to shake my head. “I’m not hungry. I’m just really tired. I think I’m going to just head to bed.”

I started to turn away from him and head up to my room when my stomach let out a huge growl. I winced at the sound and prayed that Greg didn’t hear it.

But of course, nothing goes my way. He started chuckling. “I think you are hungry. Here, I think Denise already made something for you.” We went to the kitchen and he handed me a plate of food.

I sighed. “Can I bring it up to my room?”

“Sure, baby bro.” He patted me on the back again, causing me to flinch again, and I turned and head up to my room again, but this time with food.

I set the food on my bedside table and just stared at it. My stomach let out another growl and I calculated how long it has been since I last eaten. 42 hours. It’s been 42 hours since I last eaten and I am terribly hungry.

I returned my attention to the food and started analyzing it. On the plate were two slices of bacon, two sausage links, two pancakes, and what looked to be two scrambled eggs. The numbers went flying in my head. Two slices of bacon 92 calories. Two sausage links is 165 calories. Two pancakes are 128 calories, but there is butter and syrup on it, so it’s actually around 224 calories. Two scrambled eggs contain 156 calories. All this adds up to a grand total of 765 calories.

I could feel tears come to my eyes. That was too many calories and I was so hungry. I couldn’t even eat part of the dish because once I started eating there was no stopping me until it was all gone. Just like the pig I am, I don’t even deserve the food. I’m too fat anyway, I don’t need to eat, I need to some fucking weight, that’s what I need.

I threw the plate across the room and started bawling my eyes into my pillow. The food was right there and I was so hungry, but I knew I wasn’t allowed to have any of it. Not if I want to become someone that Liam wanted to date. For Liam, all of this pain and torture will be worth it when I am thin enough for Liam to notice me.

And with that thought, I easily fell asleep.