I Can't Stop [Niam]

Chapter 16

“You nervous for tomorrow?” Liam asked me as he helped me take the draw string out of all my sweat pants. It’s one of the rules of the rehab center.

I was let out of the hospital a few hours ago, after spending a horrible 24 hours there. While Liam and I were talking, Greg had called the rehab center and they said they wanted to take me in as soon as possible. So, I’m leaving tomorrow. Greg also called my school and told them what was going on and got them to let me finish my classes online while I was at the rehab center.

I bit my lip. “Yeah, I’m very nervous. What if I’m there for a long time or what if it doesn’t work out and I’m still just as broken as I was before I went in there?”

Liam pulled me into his lap and kissed my temple. “You’re going to be fine. The rehab center will be good for you. You’ll get all nice and healthy and I won’t have to worry about you passing out on me again. And you’ll be out before you know it.”

I turned around in his lap so I could look into his beautiful eyes. “You’re not going to be there, though.” I said while pouting.

He rolled his eyes playfully. “I’ll be here as soon as you get back. So, the quicker you get better, the quicker you can get back to me.”

He then kissed my still pouting lips. That got me to giggle, but it was soon replace by a serious expression. “When I come back, are you still going to love me even though I’ll be bigger?”

I saw a flash of sadness go through his eyes. “Niall, I would love you no matter what you look like, but I want you to gain weight. You’re extremely underweight.”

I sighed. “I just don’t see what everyone else is seeing. You guys all see the frail, bony body, but all I can see is layers of fat.”

He kissed my forehead before saying anything. “That’s why you are going to the rehab place, so, you’ll begin to see just how beautiful you really are.”

I grinned and pecked his cheek. “You’re very cheesy you know that? Now come on, let’s finish up packing, so we can do some fun stuff before I leave tomorrow.” We had somehow convinced Liam’s parents and Greg and Denise to allow Liam to spend the night and skip school tomorrow to drive with me, Greg, and Denise to the rehab center tomorrow.

He grabbed a pair of sweat pants and started to hand them to me, but stopped midway. He gave me a very confused look. “Niall, are any of these going to stay on you without the draw string?”

“Of course they w-” I stopped and thought about it for a second. “Maybe I should try a pair on real quick.” I grabbed the pair Liam was handing me and pulled them on real quick. As soon as I let go of the hem though, they fell right back down. “Maybe not. What am I going to wear if I can’t wear my sweat pants? That’s literally the only things I own besides ball shorts, but the same thing is just going to happen with them as well.”

Liam thought about it for a moment before saying something. “Don’t hate me for saying this, but do you think that some of Denise’s sweats might fit?” I gave him an are you kidding look and he held his hands up in surrender. “It’s just a suggestion, plus it’s too late to go shopping since it is ten at night.”

He’s got a point there. She’s pretty petite, maybe she’ll have something. I shrugged. “I guess it’s worth a try, let’s go ask her.” I stood up and held out my hand and helped Liam up as well. We walked hand in hand, I wanted to get as much physical contact in as I can before I leave, down the steps and to the kitchen to wear Denise is usually sat.

And just like predicted, Denise was sitting on a barstool at the counter reading one of her home decoration magazines. She looked up from the magazine and smiled. “What can I help you boys with? Are you two hungry?”

I shook my head and she frowned. Disappointment flashed through her eyes causing my heart to clench. Ignoring that though, I started blushing before asking my question. “None of my pants fit without the drawstring, do you think any of your pants would fit me?”

A look of surprise came over her for a second. She stood up and started walking to her room and Liam and I followed her. “I might have something, although, I still think some of my stuff will be too big as well.”

I frowned. “You have to have something.”

She gave me a sympathetic look real quick, then went back to rummaging around her wardrobe. A few seconds later she appears with two pairs of pants and one pair of sweats. “These are my smallest sizes. You are going to have to deal with jean, bud.”

I shrugged. “As long as they stay up, I can deal.” I grabbed the clothes from her and kiss her cheek real quickly. “Thanks Denise.”

I quickly grabbed Liam’s hand and pulled him to my room. I took off my sweats, the only ones that still had the string on them. I tugged on one of the jeans as Liam started taking the string out of the sweats.

Liam looked up at me and smiled. “They look like they are staying up.”

I smiled weakly at him. “They are, but they’re still really big on me. Nothing I can do about that now, though. Throw me the sweats.”

He did as I commanded and I quickly tugged them on. They didn’t work out as well as the jeans. As soon as I let go of them hem, they fell far too low for my liking. I ripped them off and threw them across the room.

I sat myself on the edge of my bed and put my head in my hands. I felt the bed dip beside me and a second later I was being picked up and sat down on Liam’s lap. He wrapped his arms around me and started rubbing my arm to get me to calm down.

After a few minutes I did. I removed my hands from my face and moved in his lap until I was facing him. I leaned my forehead against his and took a shuddering breath. “I don’t want to go tomorrow. I’ll miss you too much. Who will be able to calm me down when I’m in there?”

He kissed my forehead real quick. “I’ll miss you too, but you don’t need me there. You’ll have plenty of people to help you. Plus, I’ll be there every time they say visitors can come. They also said that you can use e-mail and I promise I’ll be there to talk to you every day.”

I leaned forward and connect our lips in a passionate kiss. I was going to miss him so much and the thought of being without him was just tearing me apart. I want to show him just how much I love him.

I licked his bottom lip and he immediately granted me entrance. Our tongues fought for dominance for a while, but he soon realized that I wasn’t giving in, so he gave up. I slowly brought my hands from around his neck to the buttons of his shirt. My hands were trembling too hard to unbuttoned it by myself so he started to help me. Between the two of us, we managed to get the shirt off and he threw in across the room, not once breaking the heated kiss. He returns his hands to my lower back, slipping a bit lower so they were now resting on my bum, causing me to moan. I traced his muscular chest and abs until my hands reach the hem of his jeans. He lets out a light gasp and quickly stops me from unbuttoning them, also breaking the kiss.

“Not now babe. Let’s wait until you get back from the rehab center.” He whispered.

This annoyed me for some reason. “I’m not fragile Liam. You are not going to break me. So, can we please do this?” I asked with big puppy dog eyes.

He sighed and kissed my lips real quickly. “I know you aren’t fragile, but you are not healthy enough for sex. You don’t have the energy and frankly, I am afraid I’ll break you. Please, let’s just wait until you are better. I’ll go as far as to promise you that the day you get back will do it, how does that sound?”

I’m not going to turn this into a fight, so I caved in. “Fine, but you better keep that promise. Maybe that thought will get me out of that hell hole faster.” I let out a yawn at the end of my sentence.

Liam chuckled. “Come one let’s get to bed, we have to be up early in the morning.”

I nodded sleepily and pulled back the covers and got underneath them. I turned to face Liam and he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me towards him until my head was on his chest. He kissed my hair real quickly. “I love you, Ni.”

I sighed happily and kissed his chest. “I love you too.” And with those four words, I fell into a deep sleep.