Decisions [10]

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-Contains a few swear words-

*Josh's P.O.V*

Ethan left my room and i flopped down onto my bed.  A groan left my lips as i crawled to the top of my mattress and face palmed my pillow. I hate life. Why did everything have to be so fucking confusing? I had no idea what to do whatsoever. Simon didn't know Ethan had told me. So i couldn't tell him i knew.  Therefore, i also couldn't show him i knew. Besides, if i did. Surely it would only hurt Behz's feelings more? I couldn't hurt Ethan. He was so upset today. I've never seen him like that before. He always acted tough and strong in front of us usually, it was hard to even think of him with a soft, sensitive side.However, seeing him cut up like that today, the tears streaming down his face, shaking with anger and frustration yet devastated and distraught. I couldn't take it. I couldn't take knowing I had caused one of my best friends to feel like that, I didn't want to be a monster. And if i got close to Simon, knowing that Ethan liked him...that would make me a monster. I'd have to do something else. But what? Urghh, I guess i'll just sleep on it. It may only be 8:00pm but i needed this sleep. I'd figure out what to do in the morning and everything would be okay...right?

*Simon's P.O.V*

Guiltily i walked myself home. My head hung low in shame as i aimlessly dragged my feet across the concrete that lay below me. I'd been such a dick to Ethan. I had to apologize as soon as i got home. My mind dwindled on that for a while. How id apologize, what i'd say, whether he'd forgive me straight away,  when all of a sudden i realized i had a much bigger issue in my hands.

What if Ethan had told Josh? As revenge? Oh fuck. I mean, I couldn't blame him, I'd be mad at me too if i was him, but that's a really big, kinda shitty thing to do. I physically stopped in my tracks, becoming dizzy. I couldn't think about Josh's reaction without feeling sick to the stomach. Both with nerves and embarrassment. What if Josh was disgusted in me? But...what if he wasn't? What if he was upset with me..but what if he wasn't? What if he hated me? ...But what if he didn't? What if he didn't like me anymore? .. But what if he did? 

What if, he didn't love me like that? ..................But what if he did.

Jealousy. || Minizerk Where stories live. Discover now