X Factor (Jade/You)

~Week 5~

Y/N's Pov:

Today's Saturday and to be honest I'm really not in the mood to do anything, But I have to considering its the big day. The day where I perform in front of millions live. After I ran away yesterday I had loads of miss calls from Jade and then from the other girls. So I assume she told them what happened. When Sam came into the room, I know she wanted to say something but she kept it in because she knows I'll loose it. For some reason I was in the mood to write a song, And inspiration just flew through me. One lyric particularly, I wanna love you but I don't know how

After I sung the song over I heard clapping, My head shot up and I saw Sam. I got so lost in the song and writing it I forgot she was in here. I wiped away the tears that had fallen down my face and put my journal away. She smiles at me and sits down next too me.

"Are you sure you don't know how?" Sam asks.

"W-What?" I ask confused and wipe away more tears.

"Are you sure you don't know how to love her?" She continues.

"What do you mean?" I ask still confused to her point.

"From that, Even though the main point of that song was you don't know how to love her it sure sounds like you do," She finishes and I smile sadly as more tears form in my eyes.

"But I don't, If I did then I wouldn't of ran off," I say, My voice cracking at the end.

"Then learn," She says.

"How," I say getting frustrated.

"Take you're time, Love always wins. You'll come around," She says and pats my back. I half smile at her and nod.

"And you have to eventually speak to Jade, I checked you're phone while you were asleep. 89 miss calls just this morning!" She says.

****

The lights were out so know one could see me, Then the lights flashed on me and the band. I guess its show time.

The crowd all roared loudly and the judges were clapping but I obviously didn't do as well as I could've because only Simon and Nicole were standing. Dermot walked over and put his arm around me.

"Y/N, It wasn't you're best if I have to be honest with you. I mean it was still good but it could've been better. Lets hope these people save you," Louie says and I nod, I'm just not into it. The crowd all boo Louie and I half smile.

"Darling it was great, But you're normally amazing! And you didn't get into the song, For me it didn't work that well," Sharon says and I smile and nod. To be completely honest I agree.

"That was amazing but babe you didn't seem happy to be up there, I didn't see that cute little smile I always see," Nicole says and pouts. I smile and giggle a little.

"You know what yes it wasn't her best week but she's still amazing! That's what makes her so great as a artist!" Simon says and the crowd cheer really loud.

"Y/N what do you think on the comments?" Dermot asks.

"Well, If I be completely honest with you I agree. It wasn't my best performance, I guess we all just have one of those off days and unfortunately mine came on a Saturday but what can you do," I say and the crowd cheer.

"Y/N Y/LN everyone," Dermot says and I smile and wave as I walk off. I see Emily and I walk over to her, As she was waving me over.

"You did amazing Y/N!" She says and I thank her.

"No hug?" She continues and pouts.

"Not in the mood," I mutter. She nods and smiles sadly.

"Yeah I know about the Jade and you thing, Its gonna get better Y/N," She says and I roll my eyes.

"Apparently everyone fucking knows," I say angrily and flail my arms around out of frustration.

"Y/N calm down," She says concerned.

"Why should I! Everyone knows about everything, I might as well tell you my mums dead too," I say and start crying tears of anger.

"Go ahead, Tell everyone my mothers dead. Its not like I care!" I shout and I fall to the floor and sob.

"Y/N, Its okay," Emily says as she sits down next too me and hugs me as I sob onto her, Luckily she'd already performed.

"Why am I like this!" I say between sobs. She strokes my hair to try calm me down.

"Y/N you're amazing, Stop doubting yourself all the time. It actually hurts seeing you like this," Emily says and I could tell by her voice she was going to cry too.

"E-Emily, Can I tell you something?" I say and look into her eyes.

"Of course,"

"I-I have depression," I say ashamed. She lifts my head and smiles at me.

"You're depression doesn't define you, You're still the same Y/N that's my bestfriend. She's funny and thoughtful, Beautiful and a great friend," She says and I smile at her.

"Thank you Emily!" I say and she smiles at me.

"Its okay Y/NN," She says and she helps me up.