sixteen

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grayson astor

I didn't sleep my entire fifteen hour flight. I spent it on my laptop working or pacing around the jet which I knew I shouldn't have been doing. I was running on straight caffeine and my assistant who was also on the trip started to get concerned.

I had texted Kalani prior to departure and received no response.

grayson: i'm getting on my jet now. please let me know all updates

I hadn't expected a reply from her, so when she didn't say anything I couldn't be upset about it. But I can't lie in saying it did make me the slightest bit sad. I know she has endless friends and family who are all able to be there for her when the time comes for her to deliver the baby, but I know the importance of having me there. A part of me wants to be there. She's bringing this life into the world and it's a life we made together.

"Fuck off," I accidentally spoke aloud, trying to get these stupid thoughts out of my head. My outbreak had gained a concerned look from my assistant. Tina is what I think her name is. My mind was running wild and I needed it to calm down and stop entertaining the idea of going back. Going back to New York City is not an option.

With the time change, I was twelve hours ahead of New York, meaning it was now around nine at night. As soon as we touched the ground, I called her. Usually when she's upset she's still good at answering her phone, but she was letting it go straight to voicemail. I really did fuck up this relationship with an amazing women who has continued to have my back and support me.

"I've changed my mind," I told my assistant as we left the aircraft. I went back inside, going to the pilot who was in the front cabin. "I need to go back."

"When?" He asked me in shock.

"Right now. I need to get back right now. Let's go," I informed him and both the pilots looked at each other. They were communicating with just their eyes and it worried me.

"We can't leave now. We need to refuel the plane and we need to run..." he was giving me all these excuses I didn't have time to hear. I needed to get out of here as soon as possible and if he wasn't going to take me then I needed to find another way out.

"Tina, I need you to find me the next plane taking off for JFK. Get me on that plane," I instructed while we both got into the back seat of a SUV waiting for us.

"My name is Tracey," she corrected me like I might have hurt her feelings.

"I'm sorry I'm just really...Kalani is supposed to have the baby anytime this week and I really fucked up and I can't miss this. So please find me a flight," I continued to call Kalani despite how all my calls were going to voicemail. "Lani, answer your fucking phone. I'm sorry, okay?"

"There is a flight available and it boards in an hour but-"

"Book it," I instructed before she could finish.

"It's commercial and both seats are middle seats," she informed me and I felt physical pain in my chest. Flying commercial is not something I've ever done and I've never considered it an option. But seeing as I was in a hurry, I didn't have a choice and further instructed the driver to head to the airport while she made the bookings.

"Call Lee and inform him I won't be making it to the viewing. Send him and his wife an apology gift," I told her mostly because I didn't want to be the one to tell him myself.

The airport was packed and way overcrowded. The lines were long and when I attempted to skip, I was yelled at by multiple people who instructed me to get to the back. So I actually waited. When we boarded the plane, I contemplated turning around because there was no way I was sitting on this plane for more than fifteen hours.

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