Not real.

Chapter Two: The Woods

*Katniss*
I've been in the woods hundreds of times after the war. But for some reason when I run into their security today after my dream, they feel too...big. Too lonely. Suddenly I find myself at Gale and I's spot. It's the only place that I've avoided for three years since the end of the war. I tentatively sit on the rock, in my spot. Thousands of memories with Gale come flooding back to my mind. I wrap my arms around my legs, curled up in a ball.          With the steady rush of moments I'm remembering, also comes the steady flow of tears. Not the sobbing, loud, or hiccuping kind, but the silent ones. Hot and painful to the point where I hug my self tighter to keep from screaming. The cold autumn air freezes my tears on my cheeks.
"Don't cry Catnip..." I remember Gale's words from my dream. More tears come at this memory as I realize how much I've missed him. Whenever he was around I always felt safe by his side but now...it's like ever since the war I expect something to go wrong again. The fear in the depths of my soul, that will never go away, is what has kept me from being happy these past three years. I'm so afraid that if I indulge myself in this new life I'll lose someone again. It's what has kept me from trying to further my relationship with Peeta even though I know he wants kids so badly. He deserves them. Just not with me. I know that if I ever had kids with him I would live in paranoia for the rest of my life.
   Loud footsteps break my train of thoughts. I whip around notching an arrow in place and aim straight for the intruders heart. I realize it's Peeta and I drop my bow, ashamed of myself. I'm so used to Gale's light, soundless footsteps in this part of the woods.
   Peeta notices my drying tears and walks cautiously closer to me. He puts both hands on my cheeks and uses his thumbs to wipe the tears away.
"Are you okay?" He whispers. I don't reply. He knows my answer.
"What is this place?" He asks.
"It's mine and...it's the spot we'd meet before we went hunting. Before the war."
"Oh..." Peeta replies. I take notice of the jealousy behind his eyes. And this angers me. Gale isn't with me here. Peeta is with me. He has nothing to be jealous of. I practically broke Gale's heart the last time I saw him.
   Peeta sees me glaring at him.
"What?" He asks slightly offended.
"You know what!" I snap. I stalk off, and when I hear him following me I break into a run.
   My mind becomes foggy. And then I'm running from the careers in my first games. They laugh and trample their way behind me as I limp on my previously burned calf. I find a tree and climb high into it's branches. Except this time Cato does not fall from the tree. He keeps coming. I see Rue in the tree next to me. She beckons me into her tree to escape. I jump and land on the branch where she once was but now all there is is a Mockingjay. Tears run down my face and I vaguely hear someone screaming. But I don't have time to think of who it could be. The Mockingjay leads me tree to tree until on one jump my foot slips and I'm falling. I land next to glimmers mangled body, swollen with tracker jacket stings. I can't move. I realize that I was the one screaming and that I still am. A familiar face appears over me as my vision fades and I black out.

I wake up in the hospital with immense pain in my ribs and my wrist. The cast on my arm explains why my wrist is in agony and I guess I must've broken a couple of ribs.
   Suddenly the visions that led me to my injuries come back and sobs start to come from the back of my throat. Immediately, warm hands are grabbing mine and caressing my face. It's Peeta. He tells me I'm okay and that he found me screaming on the ground. He carried me here and stayed with me the whole night. He asks if I want to go home and I nod, sniffling.
   I dress myself so I'm not in the standard hospital gown and come out of the bathroom. Tears start to form in my eyes as I remember why I was in the woods. Gale. I miss Gale.
   I reach my arms up like a child and Peeta lifts me up. My legs straddle his waist and I wrap my arms around his neck and start to cry.
"Shhh Katniss, it's okay I'm here alright? Let's go home okay?"
I nod still crying into his shoulder. He carries me home, getting some weird looks from the people we pass on the road but I don't care and I don't think Peeta does either.
   When we get home he wraps me up in a soft blanket and lays me in bed. He closes the curtains and tells me that he's going to paint for a bit. And with a kiss on my forehead he is gone.
  I miss Gale, I miss Gale, I miss Gale...
I think to myself. He probably doesn't miss me. Is he even alive? Does he still feel the guilt for prim's death? Does he have a girlfriend? A wife? A kid? These thoughts give me a pang of jealousy. But it's probably true. Even before the games girls batted their eyes at him left and right. I wouldn't doubt him having a family at this point, it has been three years...
   Three years. And where has my life gotten me. I have Peeta yes, but I'm consumed by nightmares and visions and fear. Snow has still won. He has taken my life away from me. Doused it with fear and regrets.
   Amid my hopelessness a sudden thought enters my mind. Snow practically promised to kill Gale if we continued opposing him. Yet we did and Gale's still alive. A small part of me awakens from its slumber. A part of that was lost. Hope is ignited. Hope for this new life. Because I actually have won. Gale is still alive against all Snow's wishes. And I'm going to fight like hell for him.