Blinded

Chapter Forty-five

Hope

Nakaupo ako sa isang mesa kasama sina Ate Ez, ang doctor ni Angel, si Elysa at Yas, my parents, and Alec.

If this was a normal situation, somehow I knew I'd feel the uprising tension between my parents and Alec. But now, all I can see from their eyes are sympathy and sadness.

The doctor handed me a paper. He explained to me a while ago that once I signed this paper, they will turn off the machine as requested by Angel.

My hands were badly trembling when I reached for the pen. Tears started rolling down my cheeks. I can feel Alec's hand caressing my back. I can't do this. It's like they are ordering me to kill her. My conscience is eating me up.

"I can't..." bulong ko at umiling. Tiningan ko sila at nakita kong tahimik na lumuluha si Elysa at Yas pati na si Ate Ez.

Ate Ezra smiled at me, "I don't want to let go of my sister, Dems. But you know what? I don't wanna be selfish anymore. Dems, nahihirapan na siya," wika niya. Nag-iwas ng tingin ang doctor saamin. Mariin akong napapikit.

I heaved a sigh. I tightened my grip on the pen.

"I will sign this. But can you please give me an additional hour before turning everything off?" I asked silently. Tiningnan ko ang doctor at malugod siyang tumango sa'kin.

Without any second thoughts, I signed the paper while hot tears filled my eyes. Padarag kong binitawan ito at tumayo kaagad. Diretso akong lumabas para puntahan ang kwarto ng kaibigan ko.

Umupo kaagad ako sa upuan katabi ng kama niya at hinawakan ang kamay niya.

"You bitch, is this really what you want? You really want to kill me, don't you?" ani ko at bahagyang ngumiti. She was still beautiful as ever. Before, I always tend to decline or reject whatever she's going to say, but now? I am deeply regretting.

Really, nasa huli talaga ang pagsisisi. But we can't do anything about it. Life is a bitch with a hand of reality waiting for its time either to slap you big time or to hold you tight.

"I wish you to be happy where you are exactly right now," bulong ko.

"Probably hell. You don't expect Angel to walk on heaven with all her mighty sins," ani ng isang boses. Napalingon ako sa likod. Si Yas ang nagsasalita habang si Elysa ay bahagyang natawa.

Natawa rin ako. Pinalibutan naming tatlo si Angel.

"This is quiet odd. I mean, this is the first time after six years na nagsama-sama ulit tayo ng buo," Elysa said with a smile.

I nodded, "Only Angel is laying in front of us. Sleeping."

Natapos ang oras na nagkuwentuhan kaming lahat. Natigil nalang kami ng pumasok ang dalawang doctor at tatlong nurse. I took a glance on my wrist watch. Lagpas isang oras na. I smiled.

I badly want to cry. But, I am too weak and exhausted. Ayoko ng umiyak. Nakakasawa na.

Nilingon ko si Ate Ez na nakahawak sa kamay ni Angel. Yas and Elysa were silently crying. I just stared at them. I want to cry but I can't.

Nilapitan ko ang dalawa kong kaibigan.

"Stop crying. Angel saw us cry a lot of times. Let's think that Angel would finally be happy and at peace after this," sabi ko. Tumango silang dalawa. I tried to smile when they started to wipe their tears and smile too.

May mga ginawa pa ang doctor na hindi ko masiyadong nasundan dahil tahimik lamang kaming tatlo na nakatoon ang atensyon kay Angel at kay ate Ez na umiiyak habang nakangiti.