Heavens rainbow

Chapter 4

I sighed heavily as I closed the door behind me. Today was the worst day ever. Three people talked to me today.

Three.

Nobody ever talked to me but all of a sudden people were interested in me and asking if I was okay. This one girl named Megan wouldn't leave me alone all day. She said I 'looked lonely and needed a friend.' She was a very nice girl, but friends aren't my thing. I don't like getting attached to people because last time I got attached to someone...You know the story.

(A/N: He's talking about his brother btw)

"Daniel James!" I jumped as my mum entered the room, rage filling her eyes as she stared right into my core. I gulped.

This was not going to be good.

My mums fist collided with my jawline and I could hear the cracking noise as I'm sure she could as well. I cupped my jaw and felt a pulsing feeling rise.

"What the actual fuck were you thinking?!" She belted and hit me again.

"I don't- wha- what'd I do?" I asked and prepared myself for the next hit which came shortly after.

"You know exactly what you did! I got a call from your guidance counselor today! You nearly got me arrested!" She kneed my gut and I doubled over in pain. It's true, I did go to my guidance counselor. I didn't go voluntarily, my english teacher made me go down because I seemed 'out of it today' As if I wasn't out of it all the time. The guidance counselor made me talk and told me she could help. Of course I didn't tell her everything, I sugar coated it. But because I did this my counselor thought my issues could be solved by talking to my mom. That clearly didn't work.

"How much did you tell them? Huh?"

"I-I'm sorry." I cried and tried to escape but she grabbed me by the neck. I didn't fight back and hoped she would choke my to death. My breathing constricted and I felt my face go numb. Please, please just kill me. But of course not. She backed away suddenly and looked almost astonished.

"What the fuck was that?!" She didn't say this to me but to the air as a look of pure puzzlement covered her face. "Alright you listen up. I'm not sure what that shit was but I'm gonna give you the chance to kill yourself before I do it for you!" I stood there wide eyed gawking at my mother. "Go!" She screamed and pointed to my room. I instantly sprung off the wall and sprinted into my room, pulling out my blade from my drawer. It was slightly dull and was covered in blood stains from past uses but would still work just fine. I took a deep breath and held it to my wrist.

You're going to die anyways, might as well do it yourself.

I pressed the sharp metal against the veins on my wrist hard enough to break the first layer of skin. I pushed harder and drew some blood, and that's when it stopped. The feeling of not being able to control my own body took over. I started to cry in aggravation.

"No, please." I begged to whatever was keeping me from slicing my wrist open. But it wouldn't stop. I was stuck there, the blade deep enough into my wrist that all I needed to do was slide it and it would finally be over. But I couldn't do it. More tears fell down my face and I tried with all my might to slide the blade but to no avail.

"Why won't you let me die?!" I screamed at my ceiling and let my salty tears stream down my face. Suddenly, the feeling was gone. I gained control over my body again. I was taken back at first, this wasn't normal, for me anyways. I snapped out of my shock and took control of my freedom while I had it. I was about to make the first slice.

"Don't do it."

I nearly jumped out of my skin and looked frantically around my room. Great, the voices are back. I shook my head and moved the blade slowly, wincing at the pain.

"Please, you're strong."

I didn't jump this time and simply shook my head.

"No, I'm not." I cried in barely a whisper and finished the first slice, screaming at the pain.

"You will be okay."

I didn't hesitate to take the blade into my opposite hand and slice my other wrist open. I held my wrist in front of me and watched as the blood spilled from my veins and onto the rug. My vision became blurred and my head spinned, I was losing consciousness. I fell clumsily onto the floor, my knees making a loud thud sound as they hit before my whole body fell onto the itchy rug. The last thing I saw was my bloody wrists soaking into the carpet before my vision went black.

"Everything Will be okay."