Heavens rainbow

Chapter 11

"Oh! I've got you by the flipping donk!" I cried out as Louise chuckled beside me. We were playing a video game called "Gang Beasts" It was a very unusual game, but really fun. It was also quite hysterical because the characters are very floppy and hard to control. The whole objective is to kill the other person playing.

"You are way too into this." Louise chuckled while shaking her head, her eyes still glued to the screen. I didn't respond and focused intently on the game. "No!" Louise screamed as my character grabbed her's and threw her into a pit of fire. I stood and threw his arms up in victory, my hands almost touching the ceiling due to my abnormally large height. Louise huffed and tossed her controler aside. I sat back down and went to play another level.

"Wanna have another go at it?" I questioned, even though I already started setting up the next level.

"Actually, I wanted to have a chat with you." The way Louise sad these words made me feel a bit uneasy.

"Okay... What about?" I placed my controlled on the coffee table and turned to face my friend.

"You know exactly what about." She placed her elbow on top of the sofa and rested her jaw on her fist. I sheepishly averted my eyes and started twiddling with my thumbs as the lump in my throat started to form. About ten seconds of silence went by, I'm sure she was expecting me to say something, but I wasn't really sure what to say.

"What's going on with Phil?" She spoke up once she realized I wasn't going first. I blushed and began to grow nervous.

"What-um, what do you mean?" I anxiously ran my fingers through my hair. I knew what she meant, I was just...scared?

"Dan Howell, don't play dumb with me." I bit my lip and looked at me feet.

"I don't know." Was all I managed to say. I wasn't lying, I really didn't know.

"What do you mean 'you don't know'?"

"I mean I don't know! I've never had feelings for someone before! I don't know what they mean, I don't know how to deal with them and I don't even know if they're allowed!" I belted out, all the anger and emotions that were building up inside me exploding all at once. Louise had a shocked expression on her face and I felt bad for raising my voice at her. "I'm sorry."

"No, no it's okay. You're confused, I understand. So let's start with the first one, you don't know what they mean. When you think of Phil, how do you feel?" I started thinking about him. About his crystal blue eyes that stood out so perfectly against his pale skin, adding a splash of color to his complection. About his beautiful smile and the way his tongue poked out the side of his mouth when he laughed. How he made me feel safe and wanted, like I was worth it even though I wasn't.

"Think out loud." Louise demanded when she noticed I was keeping my thought in my head.

"Um, he makes me feel happy, but in a different way. I-I don't know how to describe it." I mumbled towards the ground.

"Does he make you feel nervous, but not in a bad way? In a way where you like the feeling?" I nodded my head. "He can make your stomach turn and your heart flutter just by looking at you?" I nodded my head again. "And you always feel the need to impress him even though you know you don't have to." I nodded a final time and Louise let out a sigh. Her sigh made me nervous until I looked up at her flashing me a toothy grin.

"Dan, I think you fancy him." My eyes widened and I could feel all the blood in my body rush to my face, turning my skin the same shade as my blood. I started to shake my head back-and-forth.

"No, no, no, no." I could feel the lump in my throat getting bigger and my eyes started to heat up.

"Whoa, Dan what's wrong?" Louise's smile turned into a frown and her eyes were over-flowing with concern. A single tear fell from my eye and rolled down my left cheek.