Broken - Niam

Chapter 13

"I'm so sorry, baby," Liam cried into my shoulder. "For what?" I asked rubbing his back. "I-I wasn't there I mean I didn't come fast enough when you called," he sobbed. "No, no it wasn't your fault at all, I was ok," I tried to comfort him. He continued crying and I didn't know what to do. "It's ok, Li," I said, I laid my head on his shoulder and hugged him tighter.

"Let's go inside," he mumbled. Liam picked me up bridal style and carried me through the doors. "I won't let him ever do that again," he said, tears streaming down his face. I wiped away his tears with my thumbs and kissed his chest. "I love you, Li." I whispered.

He laid me down on the couch and sat beside me, my head resting on his lap. He ran his fingers through my hair and left kisses on my forehead. "Liam, it wasn't your fault," I said again, tired of the silence. He didn't respond, instead he just stared at me. His brown eyes glistened from his tears and he gave me a small smile. I smiled back before kissing him gently.

"I take it you don't want me to invite the rest of the lads for dinner?" I joked. "I don't care, if you want," he said, playing with his fingers. "I'll invite Harry and Lou, is that good?" I asked. He nodded his head and smiled. I grinned back and sat up, retrieving my phone from my back pocket

To Harry and Louis: Hey lads, just wondering if you would like to come over for dinner tonight? I'm only asking you two because Li isn't too comfortable with Z right now.

I waited a couple seconds before my phone began buzzing.

Harry: Sure, that would be good. We'll be there. What time?

Niall: Is 5 ok?

Harry: sure :)

I placed my phone on the charger and called Liam who went upstairs to change. "They said ok!" I shouted, loud enough for him to hear me.

I went to the kitchen and pulled the chicken out of the fridge. "Hey Li? Can you barbecue?" I asked as he walked into the kitchen. "Yeah babe," he said, wrapping his arms around my waist. "And what do you think you're doing, Payne?" I laughed, turning around in his grasp. Our chests touched and I smiled up at him.

He leaned forward pecking me on the lips, I laughed before handing him the chicken. "Get to work!" I shouted, pushing his shoulder playfully. He stumbled back, catching his balance before he hit the counter. He glared at me and I stuck out my tongue.

I began preparing dinner when the doorbell rang. "They're here early," I mumbled under my breath. I walked out into the front room and opened the door. "Li! The boys are here!" I shouted. "Hi," I greeted them, they both wore smiles and came in. "I'm sorry about what happened today, I don't know what got in to him," Louis said, biting his lip. "It wasn't your fault," I laughed, leading them to the back porch. Liam raced through the back door and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "Hey," he smiled shyly as if he didn't know them. I looked up at him, confused. "What's up?" I mouthed to him, Harry and Louis looked at us, they were both confused. Liam just shook his head and looked up at the other two with a smile. He led them to the porch and I just went back to the kitchen to finish cooking.

The back door was left open and I could hear the guys laughing and joking around. I smiled to myself and continued cooking.

"Dinners ready!" I shouted, the three guys walked in, Liam holding the plate of chicken. "Looks good," I said as he placed it on the table. He gave me a small smile before wrapping his arm around my waist. "You guys are so cute," Louis laughed as he watched us. I couldn't help but blush, I hid my face in the crook of Liam's neck. "It's your turn,"Liam said looking between Louis and Harry. Harry just blushed and looked over at Louis. "I mean you guys are practically together right? You act like it," Liam continued. "It's complicated," Louis said,"let's eat."

I nodded and took a seat beside Liam.
"So are you guys ok?" Harry asked after taking a bite of his dinner. "Yeah, good, why?" I asked, looking at him curiously. "After what happened today? I have no idea about what has gotten into him lately," Louis replied. I put down my fork and tried to forget today's incident. "I'm fine," I said again,"I don't want to talk about it, it's over and I want to move on." I wanted to forget about being nearly raped by my bandmate and most importantly, one of my best friends. They just nodded and continued eating, I looked over and Liam who was chewing slowly, anger filling his eyes. I patted his thigh reassuringly and he looked over at me, tears threatening to fall. I shook my head, telling him not to. "I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't of brought it up," Harry said once he saw Liam.

"Um I'm going to excuse myself real quick," I said, getting up from the dinner table. They all nodded and continued eating and talking. I went upstairs to grab my phone and I got 2 missed calls and 4 text messages from Zayn. I groaned and opened each one.

Zayn: I'm sorry

Zayn: Can you call me when you get a chance? I need to talk to you.

Zayn: Niall, pls I miss you.

Zayn: I understand that you're mad but pls talk to me.

I shoved my phone in my back pocket and headed back downstairs.

"I don't know, did I over react? I mean I do feel bad. Zayn is my best friend and I miss him," Liam said. I stopped behind the door before any of them could see me. I stood and listened, maybe it was bad to eavesdrop but I wanted to know what he was talking about?

"What do you mean, Liam," Harry asked. "I mean, I really really miss Zayn. Yes, I love Niall but I need Zayn back. I think I'm falling for Z again, I don't know." I began feeling light headed. Liam liked Zayn before? I felt my cheeks become wet and I brought my fingers up to my face. I wiped away the tears and ran back upstairs. I locked the bathroom door and fell to the floor. I sobbed into my hands and rocked back and forth. I didn't think I would ever do this again, I told myself I would stop but I couldn't resist anymore. I jumped up and shuffled through the medicine cabinet for my razor. I sat against the wall and pulled up my sleeve. Faded pink scars lined my wrists from months ago. I always wore bracelets to hide them, Liam didn't even know I did this.

I pressed the sharp end against my skin, applying pressure until the warm, red liquid oozed out. I clenched my teeth and shut my eyes, hissing in pain. One cut turned into two cuts, two turned into four and so on. My vision became blurry and I felt myself becoming unconscious. My sleeve was drenched in blood and it sickened me to look. I finally gave in and I was swallowed by darkness. The last thing I heard was a loud series of knocks coming from the other side.