Broken and reborn ? See the doctor (a Tom Hiddleston Story)

"I am the one, who is in the wrong here"

Sarah sat looking at the set a couple of days later, she almost couldn't wait to watch the series when it was done, it looked so amazing and cool and it was even more exciting when you had followed it getting made.
"Well what do you think ?" There was a break and they had just done one of the big scenes and Tom came over to her.
Without thinking she reached up brushing som dust from his shoulder. "It is going to be so cool, I am sure of that and you were so great".
He grabbed her, his hands on her waist, lifting her of the ground, swinging her around, she squealed and grabbed his shoulders, their eyes met and she felt a roller coaster feeling in her stomach, that she couldn't blame on the swinging.
He put her down gently, but his hands stayed on her waist and her hands were still on his shoulders, his voice suddenly a bit throaty as he whispered. "Thank you".
She could feel her heart speed up, she felt everybody was watching them and she swallowed nervously, why didn't he let go of her ? She thought she could see uncertainty in his eyes but also something darker.
He bit his lip and Sarah could hear him catch his breath and suddenly she knew that he would kiss her, right there in front of everyone and all air disappeared from her lungs.
"Tom we are ready for the next scene". The directors assistant called him right at that moment.
She caught an annoyed look flash through his eyes, then he closed them, she pulled her hands of him, and finally he let her go, instead he pinched the bridge of his nose, like he had a bad headache. "I am coming now"
He lifted his hand, like he wanted to reach for her, but then he turned and hurried back on set.
Sarah sat down on a box, her heart beating frantically and she felt dizzy, she was completely sure that he would have kissed her if he hadn't been called on set, but why ?
He must have been grabbed by the mood, it couldn't be anything else, they were friends and that was much more than she had ever believed possible, she couldn't believe there was more.
She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, what would she have done if he had kissed her ? She should slap him, but she was very much aware she wouldn't have.
But she kind of felt like hitting him, felt like screaming, to roll up like a baby and cry, she hated the way she felt herself loose control, when he got close to her and that he made her think about doing things she most definitely shouldn't, right now the whole friendship thing went really well, why did he want to ruin that.
She breathed in deeply a couple of more times, she needed to get a hold of herself and act natural, because people were looking at her, and she didn't want them to get the wrong idea.
When she finally had gotten herself calmed down and had herself convinced that there was nothing in it and he had just been happy, she got up and walked back to watch.
When they walked back towards his trailer after the last scene of the day, he was unusual quiet and Sarah thought he was tired.
Halfway there he suddenly stopped and turned towards her. "Sarah we need to talk".
"Okay". She looked at him with confusion, he looked nervous and it started her getting nervous, he grabbed her hand and pulled her with him behind the make-up trailer.
"I am sorry Sarah, I know that you are engaged and that you want to keep it professional, but I am going crazy here". He threw out his arms.
She didn't know what to do with herself. "What is the problem Tom ? Have I done something wrong ?
He grabbed her shoulders softly. "You have done nothing wrong Sarah, not at all, I am the one who is in the wrong here".
"I don't understand what you are talking about Tom, what have you done wrong ?" She looked at him, waiting for an answer.
"This". He pulled er against him, and she knew what would happen, when his lips finally connected with hers, it felt like the earth stopped rotation and her heart stopped beating.