Hold Me Closer

Chapter 7: Alex

     When I get back to the room Sam is already asleep, or pretending to be. I take a step towards him, but shake my head and collect my things to get ready for bed. As I'm getting ready I wonder if things will ever be somewhat normal with Sam and I- not that either of us are normal by any means. After I'm done I go to the room and go to sleep.

      By some miracle I wake up before Sam so I get ready- after I check the time to make sure I didn't oversleep of course. After I get ready I open the window to let the crisp, cool air in- it gets awfully stuffy in the dorms- and check my texts. My inbox was completely empty-that's strange. I think that maybe my boyfriend is still asleep, but I try not to think too much about it.

      Soon I go to class, but I can't get Sam or Damien out of my head- not that is easy to stop thinking about Sam anyway. Sam's just so different. He's unlike anyone I've ever met before. Sam is like a character from the books I read that sweeps the main character off their feet.

     I shake my head to snap myself out of thinking about Sam. I check my phone again to see the time -one fifty- and see I still didn't have any texts. After class is done I go back to the dorm to drop some stuff off. I open the door to find Sam still in the dorm.

"Uh, did you oversleep?" I ask closing the door behind me.

"Nah. Class is cancelled today," he says shifting in bed. I notice he doesn't have a shirt on and I immediately avert my gaze and try busy myself with putting away some things.

"So you decided to stay in for the day? No big plans?"  Halfway through asking I realize my hearing aid is beeping at me.

"Hey, I've got to change my hearing aid batteries. It's going to take about five minutes or so. So just, uh, carry on with what you were doing."

     Sam nods and goes back what he was doing. I take out my heading aids and set them my desk. I search my desk drawer for the extra batteries I keep in there. I find them and put the stickers off the back and set my phone timer to five minutes.

      I sit back and pick up one of my hearing aids. I turn it over in my hands. It's a behind-the-ear one and it's covered in little, fake, clear gems. Usually my hair covers it, but my best friend had helped me stick all of the gems on them because I hated how plain it was. I take out the old batteries and put them on the edge of the desk.

      I feel a hand in my shoulder and a hot breath on my neck. I turn around in my chair to see Damien- Sam must have let him in. In all honesty I forgot I had made plans to go get dinner with him. I realize he's trying to tell me something. I try to read his lips, but I'm terrible at it and don't really understand what he's trying to say.

"I'm sorry I can't read your lips," I try to say at my normal volume "I've got a minute or two before I can put the batteries in. Then you can tell me what you're wanting to say."

     It's always so weird trying to talk with my hearing aids out. It's weird having them out anyway. Having them in for most of the day I forget since times that is even there. At least I haven't fallen asleep with them at all this year. Usually pretty good about taking them out before going to bed-and putting them back in in the morning- but there have been times I've been so tired that I completely forget to take them out.

     I check my timer and see it's about to go off- great! I turn off the timer when it goes off and put in the new batteries. I put the hearing aids back on and make sure they're still working right.

"Alright. What were you trying to say? I'm terrible with reading lips," I ask as I turn in my chair to look at Damien- and notice Sam is somewhat side-eyeing him.

"Nothing. Not important. I didn't know you wore hearing aids."

"Yeah, my hair usually covers it. Sometimes I forget they're even there," I say laughing a bit.

"I just think it's kinda an important thing to know."

"That I wear them?" I ask suddenly confused.

"Well sorta. Anyway. Does this mean i have to learn sign language or something?"

"Well, no. You don't have to. I have hearing aids so that but really necessary," I say furrowing my eyebrows. He was seriously confusing me.

"Oh good," he says with relief.

"But, I mean, you can if you want to,"

"Yeah yeah. Are you ready to go?" He asks shifting from one foot to the other.

"Uh, yeah."

     I stand up and grab a jacket just in case. I nod to Sam as I head out the door. I close the door and fall into step with Damien. I lace my fingers with his. I try to focus on what he's saying, but I can't. Something about our conversation bothered me a little bit. And all I cloud think of was Sam. I started to wonder what he had said to make Sam look at him the way did.

     I shrug off my thoughts and scold myself. It was over and he said that it wasn't important. Plus, I'm pretty Sam just doesn't like the fact I have a boyfriend and that he was in the room again. I try to forget about it all and focus on our dinner date, but my thoughts keep traveling back to Sam. Always Sam.

     Maybe I need some time away from him. Yeah, maybe that'll help me stop thinking about him.