Whispering Snow

Vision 17

Avett and I were always in the room, He worked and I was in the bathroom. My family would visit from time to time. Mother always came around noon. I was less of a mess at that time. We would sit and talk about the changes and some family matters. Father would come too, just to gave Avett updates and see me. My sisters always brought me baby outfits. Asking if this was cute or if it would be a boy or girl. Mother said I would be able to know once the vomit stops. It was less day after day. But, the pain was strong. Mother went through books finding out why. I found out that my mother's book was handed down to all the daughters in her family and written by them all. She had even started her own. So I did too. 

Winter came and snow was coming. I could smell it, I loved winter. It was my favorite time of year. I had warmer blankets and my wardrobe was changed to warmer clothes. I am able to walk around the castle more. Avett was happier now, I was safe for more than a month and we haven't had of any more attacks happening around us. He was calmer and worked less. We were sitting by the fire in the family gathering room. Everyone was there and I was in a good mood.

"Have you felt him move yet?" Sienna asked me a question every hour.

"No, I'm still too early in. I think..." I looked at my handsome mate because we already had a surprise to tell them.

"What!! what is it!? You both are hiding something! tell us!!! Sienna had a good sense of people's moods.

"Well..... We do." I wanted to drag this out longer.

"You like stalling sister." Matteo was level headed but since he found out I was pregnant he's been weird. I asked Avett about it and he just says it's because he's very protective of me.

"Well, WE already know. "

"Oh! You do!" Mother was excited. She had been waiting for this far too long.

"It's A Girl!" We both said. Father was already hugging us both. I was glad he took the news well. We had been silenced for a while. I had to confront him on his behavior towards Avett. Looks like mother helped too.

"OH!!! I can dress her up! and do her hair." The twins are in sync.
Everyone was happy. They talked about what to name her and the bedroom she would live in. Even after the color of her furniture. Avett and I were happy.
It was a joyous scene. One that I wanted to keep alive forever. But Good things don't happen to me too often.

I started to feel the pain come so I stood up and ran. I ran to our bedroom and hide in the bathroom. I climb in the tub and held myself. Avett was quick behind me and pulled the blankets over me. He climbs in with me and held me. He started to hum a tone for me. One that I have grown fond of. The pain came I was used to it. I let it take its course.

"Claire? Claire, are you... "

He pulled the blankets off me and we both saw all the blood. My legs were covered in blood. He got up and lay me down gently. He was out of the door in seconds and I heard him screamed for my mother.

What was happening? I was finally getting over it all. Why this? Why now?

Mother and Avett were there and I saw her crying. He was too. She pulled me into her arms and then it hit me. I lost the baby.

Everyone was in my room and already knew. Gianna was crying the most. He was so happy for me that I was having a baby. Father couldn't stand seeing Avett crying he held him in his arms. I was the only one not crying. I just didn't believe that it happened.

"So what now? Do I just let it run through? Do I need a medical advisor?" I must have shocked my family that I wasn't in tears or mad. But so much has happened that I've grown like a stone.

"Honey, you just let it go. Maybe in the shower would be easiest." She helped me up and get into the shower. Avett was on my other side still crying. Everyone left the room quickly. My sisters came back with the medicine, my mother must have told them I will need it.

Avett turned the shower on and the blood was running. It felt good and I was not in pain anymore. I started to feel him, he was filling up my senses and I was glad!

Avett, I'm sensing you again! I tried to mind link him to see if I could. Its been a few months since we have.

He looked at me shocked. I knew he did.

"What is going on. What did they do to you!?" He then realized that me losing the baby was not the problem but the fact that it was my body losing control.

"What do you mean Avett " mother didn't hear our thoughts. 

"She is sensing me and minding again." Avett had a bitter taste in his mouth. 

"So it was the baby blocking everything. Tha.." she cut herself off. She was lost in thought. 

"Mother, given the way I was attack do you think the poison must have reached her? That all that pain was her trying to release it all?" I think  Avett was angry because he was drawing blood on my arm. 

Avett, my love please be gentle with me. You're hurting me. 

He looked down and was ashamed. He took my other arm away from my mother and she understands right away. She gave me a kiss and said goodbye. 

"Avett what is it?" 

"If we really want to know if she was poisoned, then I need to taste the blood." 

"Oh! I see. Will you be able to feel her?" 

"If she's still alive, yes"

Something in me started to say no. This would tear him apart. He would never forgive himself. I didn't want him living with that regret. 

"STOP." 

"Claire it's the only way to know." 

"No, you.. we do not have to know. I will not let you live with yourself knowing she was in pain." I already did. He hugged me and started crying. His feeling poured into me. I felt his regret, his sorrow, his love, even the urgency to ripe that men head off for doing this.
We stood there for hours. It was only then I noticed the blood had stopped. 

"It's done, I.. we.." lost her is what I wanted to say. 

"I'll get a towel." 

I loved him. But he had hidden something from me this whole month. I started to feel it. I pushed it away we just lost our baby. I should be morning her. 

He covered me with the towel and carried me to the bed. I felt so much regret coming from him. It was killing me. He started to unclothed me and let me sleep naked. I felt more comfortable this way.

I'm starting to feel you now.

Thank goodness.

I've been lonely without you. 

I understood him clearly. It was painful for me to never be able to talk to him. We held each other for a while touching and poking our mind. I wanted to ask him so many things. My mood was not about that. 

I just wanted to be with him. Then as we were feeling each other more I felt it. His pain of losing his child. He was strong, unbelievable. I had no idea he was so in love with that child. Now it was hurting me. He was hurt and now I was. I started to cry. I cried into his chest. He held me tighter while he cried with me. We must have felt some connection to the baby if we were feeling this pain.