On the Verge ~ (Seth Clearwater Imprinting Story)

Chapter 11: (Violet's POV)

I let her lead me into the giant house, walking past Jasper and Alice. I could feel all their eyes on me, blaming me.

She sat me on a white sofa. I sat in silence, and stared at the wooden coffee table in front of me.

“You must be cold, I’ll get you a blanket” I heard Esme murmur. I felt a slight breeze disrupt the air as she flitted off.

I felt numb, useless. I didn’t even feel anything when Esme placed a sheet over my shoulders. I just felt like crawling into a hole and lying there, waiting out the rest of my miserable life. 

An eternity passed, and I still hadn’t moved.

Images flashed in my mind, the sound of Max’s heavy footsteps, branches scratching at my face and hands, a gunshot, Seth lying on the ground, bleeding.

I gasped for air as the disturbing images ran through my head. I closed my eyes, and covered them with my hands.

I could feel tears running down my face, as I tried to erase the memories.

“Get out of my head, get out of my head” I whispered to myself. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping to squeeze the memories out.

“Get out, please get out” I whispered desperately.

But the images flashed like lightening in my head, cracking loudly in my ears. I could feel my mind buzz.

“Please, please get out of my head” I whispered again. I rocked back and forth, my eyes shut, hands over my ears.

They finally began to diminish. The images that flashed in my mind were buried in the darkness, but I knew it wouldn’t last long. I could already feel it creeping back into the light.

I closed my eyes, keeping my ears open. I could hear movement going on, and the murmuring of soft voices. Then the room was empty, as they all disappeared into another room, probably to discuss what had happened.

A light airy draught passed through the air. I felt warm hands clutch at my own hands covering my face.

The warm hands uncovered my face. I stared into the rich chocolate eyes of Renesmee. She was the exact replica of Bella and Edward. She had Bella’s rich sweet eyes, but I could sense Edward hidden in her. She was about my age, and she smiled at me.  

She was sitting on the coffee table, and leaned forward to me. She let go of one of my trembling hands, and touched my cheek.

I gasped as my mind was filled with images that were gentle and soothing. Renesmee showed me images of Bella.

I grimaced as I saw her bloodied face, and bruised body. Another image as I was in a clearing; black hoods drifted towards us with red eyes hidden in the shadows.

I trembled as she showed me an image of Bella attacking Jacob, Jacob jumping between two wolves, one of them Seth. The deathly crack of Seth’s bones made me jump in fright.

“Don’t be scared” I heard Renesmee murmur, “It gets better.”

I concentrated on the new images flickering in my head. She showed me Edward’s arms around Bella, kissing her on the lips.

She showed me images of her and Jacob running through the forest, Jacob scooping her up in his arms. There were a few quick flicks of the pack. I recognised Seth and Leah among them.

Then she showed me each of the Cullens’ faces, all smiling and laughing. She showed me a sunset, shining through a massive glass window. It made the sky orange and pink. The image of a mother duck drifting on the lake; her ducklings following after her, blended in with the orange and pink sky. I felt empty and alone as I watched the mother duck, console her ducklings.

Renesmee removed her hand from my cheek and the images faded away. I looked at her meaningfully.

“There are people who love you” she said confidently. She smiled wide, looking like Edward.

She looked so much like Bella in the eyes, but had Edward’s traits. Though she was about my age, she was very mature.

“Thank you” I replied. I was gratefully thankful for it. Renesmee had shown me the important side of life, like family, friends and life itself.

She touched her hand to my cheek again, and Seth’s smiling face filled my entire mind.

I still have him, I thought.

Seth’s face faded away, and I was back again in the living room. Renesmee smiled at me, before flitting away.

I sat on my own, the massive house quiet. I felt alone, abandoned.

“Violet?”

I stood up as soon as I heard it, and I knew who it was. Seth stood at the front door in his human form, a small smile on his face.

As he walked towards me, my eyes shifted down to the wounds on his chest and shoulder. His shoulder looked grazed and red where the bullet had scraped his skin. Visibly on his chest, there was a small bullet wound.

It was round and scuffed. It seemed to have healed, though that didn’t really put me at peace.

I could feel regret and guilt build up inside of me.

Seth was just a few steps away, but I made it even more as I backed away from him.

“I’m sorry Seth, I’m so sorry” I whispered feeling the tears well up.  

“It’s not your fault Violet; it’s not your fault. Don’t feel sorry. I’m fine, see?” he said stretching his arms out fully. 

I shook my head and turned away from him. I was staring out the massive glass window.

It was dark outside. Pitch black.

I felt warm arms wrap around my waist, Seth’s chin rested on my shoulder.

“It’s not your fault Violet, repeat after me, ‘it’s not my fault’” he murmured in my ear.

I closed my eyes, a single tear streaked down my face.

“Repeat after me Violet, ‘it is not my fault’” he said again.

I breathed out slowly. “It is…not my…fault” I stuttered.

“It is not my fault” he echoed.

“It is not my fault” I repeated. I was starting to choke on my words.

“Do you understand? This is not your fault” Seth said into my ear.

He waited for me to answer, so did I.

His grip around me tightened as he waited in tension.

“It is not my fault” I replied in a small voice.

“It isn’t” Seth whispered kissing me on the cheek. I felt myself tense, not deserving the affection.

I was still feeling tense and out of place as we got to Seth’s place. I was welcomed warmly into Sue’s arms.

I was surprised when Leah comforted me too. “You can sleep in my room” she said as she hugged me. “I’ll be leaving soon; I need to get back to college.”   

Between all of this warmth, Seth still kept close; even as Sue bandaged up my cuts. The anaesthetic stung a little, but not as much as the shame.

Seth led me to Leah’s room, Leah already set out a few of her clothes for me to change into.        

“Just call me when you need anything” Seth said as he stepped out of the room.

I nodded as he gave me some privacy, but sank to the floor as soon as the door closed shut. I cried into my arms, my head feeling woozy and my spirit breaking loose.

I knew I didn’t deserve to be here, I didn’t deserve Seth at all after this. I felt like I was floating alone in space, empty dead air.

It wasn’t long before I heard the door open, and Seth’s warm arms around me, comforting me.  

The heat radiating from him wasn’t enough to thaw out Max’s face in my mind.