Everlark forever

18

Katniss P.O.V

He was finally here. With me - and it was still my birthday - sort of. It was eleven fifteen yet I could have sworn I've been in bed for more than an hour.
I sat up and jumped into his arms happily. He didn't release me for a long time. There was something odd about the way he hugged me, like he was afraid to let go.

"You're late." I said when he finally let go. Peeta smiled, it was nice to see that smile.

"Sorry," he said. "I'll do better next time." I smiled wider. We sat down on the bed. Peeta yawned. He must be exhausted. In order to get to the capitol and back in one day he must have gotten up really early.
I brushed his hair out of his eyes. He closed them and laid his head in my lap. We had done this a few time before, if he was tired he would lay his head in my lap. I reached over to the lamp next to the bed and turned on the light.

"I liked it better dark." Peeta said, his eyes opening.

"Do you want me to turn it off?' I asked. He shook his head but didn't say anything. Something was wrong, I could see that. He looked stressed. I raked my hands though his hair waiting for him to say something. He didn't. Peeta stared up at the ceiling in such a way that made me believe he wasn't really seeing anything after a while Peeta closed his eyes.

"Peeta?" I asked. His blue eyes opened automatically. "I'm glad you're here even if my birthday's almost over." I said. Peeta's eyes closed again.

"You're going to hate me." He said. My hands stopped moving. I froze.

"What do you mean?" I asked. I tried to keep my voice calm. He didn't answer my question. He didn't move, he barely breathed. "Peeta?"

"Did you know Finnick Odair was in love?" he asked. "With another victor?" I shook my head. No, all I heard about him was that he liked to be around Capitol people a lot. It seemed unlikely that he would flirt with girls all the time if he had someone he loved. Where was he going with this? "And that the capitol killed haymitch's girlfriend." Peeta continued. "And that a victor from District one had his girlfriend go into the games just because he disobeyed the capitol. She died." Now I get it. I gulped.

"Y-you think I will . . ." I trailed off. The words were too horrifying to say. I shook my head. "No, it's just -"

"Katniss, we shouldn't be together." He said. His head was still on my lap. I didn't want him to move. I didn't want to lose him, not because of the capitol.

"Peeta, be serious. You can't mean that." My voice came out shaky. I didn't look at him. I looked straight in front of me avoiding his gaze just in case he really did mean it.

"It's for the best." He sat up. He was avoiding my gaze.

"No . . ." I said. I searched for a way to assure him that wasn't going to happen. "This year is the Quell. Chances are I'm not going to be picked and next year I'm not going to be eligible anymore." I said smiling. "I'm going to be eighteen before the Hunger Games reaping. I'm not going to be eligible anymore."

"That doesn't mean you won't be hurt by someone. Those people love to see drama in a victor's life. That's why they killed Haymitch's girlfriend. They wanted to see him suffer. They will do that to me too." Peeta said. I was shaking. Did I really think the Capitol will be so cold as to kill people for their own satisfaction? I started shaking even more as I realized the answer was yes. "Besides, I'm probably not going to survive the Quell." Peeta whispered. My eyes widened.

"What do you mean?" I asked. Peeta stood up. He turned his back to me so I couldn't see his face. "What do you mean you won't survive?" no answer. "Peeta!" I stood up and walked toward him. "Peeta!"