ACCIDENTAL

Chapter 5

"Silence in court!"
The judge exclaims as she bangs her gavel on the desk and the jury find its serenity before the court proceedings commence...

"This is case number 56B05-0833-DJ-10769, in the matter of the deceased, Lisa Furgerson. Present in the court room are the defendant and his attorney, the deputy prosecutor, the legal parents of the deceased and the probation officer..."-the judge continues.

Lisa's parents seem to be so agitated during this first day of trail and I think my physical presence in this court room makes the situation even worse. I can't help but feel great amounts of guilt and distress as I look upon their family.

To think these people only see the complete worst in me even after it's actually confirmed that I wasn't driving irresponsibly in any sort of way, well, except for the fact that I was driving way over the speed limit...

But, it is unfair that they are so unreasonable about this. They are actually suing me for allegedly murdering their daughter in cold blood.

I know within me that I would never do such an horrible thing to anyone ever. That is not who I am. That is not how I was brought up throughout my entire life. I'm just not that guy.

Who am I arguing with anyways? My brain? How's this little secret argument in my head even gonna help me through this prejudice justice system? Does my opinion even matter here?

Here's the thing about court: There's the judge, and then the attorneys, and then the accused and the defendant. For serious cases like murder usually the 'state' and the defended are advised not to speak for themselves before the court, unless you really feel you have it all figured out. So, the battle is between two attorneys. Usually (in such a case as mine) the plaintiff's or complainant's attorney and the defence attorney. These two parties serve as a spontaneous brain of the judge, one being a function of the left brain hemisphere and the other being the function of the right brain hemisphere. The judge then, is the prefrontal cortex and overall executive function of the whole propaganda. It is an excellently executed 'justice system'.

So...it just so happens that the person in question is never going to be present for this whole trail and I guess the 'justice system' will be in her favour as much as possible. This is literally me up against a dead person only, she will be spoken for. I find myself at this point so eager to find out what's coming next even if it is the next world war up in this court room.

I mean what is the worst that could possibly happen? Here I am standing before the court of law, accused to have blood on my hands, feeling like I have nothing to live for because its quite clear to me that I am going to serve some time behind bars. Just wondering how long that would be. I feel like I could just dictate to the judge that we cut to the chase so I can really know where I stand in this goddamn life. Right now it is me and the whole trait of the adversarial system of justice and I have to trust in Peter to get us through this. I'm literally depending on him to keep me out of prison right now.

A few hours later the judge announces that the trail shall be postponed to tomorrow due to the act of emotional incompetency portrayed by Mrs Furgerson. She is so agitated it aches my heart. The trail has barely begun but I already feel so much guilt that I almost feel it would be easier if I go to jail. If that is the price I have to pay to make these people feel better inside then, why not? It'll all pass one day, right?

My subconscious stands up from the couch with his hair all messed up and still in pyjamas, stares at me with a funny look on his face and screams: What?

Whoa! Whenever he does that it means I need to take a seat. My subconscious is the sort of guy who is always stoned and watches subconscious television twenty-four-seven. He doesn't seem to care about a whole lot of things...but, when I start to get cheap thoughts he takes his stand from the throne with immediate effect.
So, I'm just gonna turn around my thoughts right now because I really don't need my subconscious on my case especially in this court room.

"Court is adjourned!" The judge interjects and everyone in the courtroom disperses.

In less than ten minutes:
Scattering of people in the street, just as I exit the premises with Peter and my family we find ourselves in the midst of a stampede in the city. Suddenly, gun shots! "Whoa!" Everybody screaming in anguish, running around, tripping-over and grievously falling upon the ground, with endless ammunition rocketing through the air. Bodies falling all over the place, some taking their last breaths on the scene. This is so epic in excruciating ways. We are all trying to run away from the inevitable death that lies before us, the street looks like a civil war just manifested all in the name of what seems to be a bank robbery from my observation. All of my family is trying to protect one another at this stage and we all finally manage to get back into the building without anyone getting hurt.
"Is everyone here? Is everybody safe?" My uncle, Ricardo, asks with his deepest concern. We all confirm that we are alright and he finally manages to settle down a bit. But still, whatever is happening out there in the street is wildly catastrophic. We've just witnessed many people being shot to death in fractional intervals of instances.

Bank robbery is a devious business, because there are guns involved, and where there are guns involved, murder is involved. Talk about extreme ruthlessness and brutality. I wonder where everything broke loose. I don't think just a normal bank robbery would cause such an intensely evil stampede such as the one we just witnessed and in the midst of, currently.

Everyone is really in a state of shock and development of post traumatic stress at this moment. Even I feel shocked about this whole thing. I think only, my experience makes me handle it bit better than everyone else. Especially the ladies, with tears in their eyes we men try as much as we can to comfort them and make them feel safe. Gun shots still banging continuously outside...it sounds as if it is a big-big fight. Truly, a gun party, right here in the middle of the city of Pretoria. We all wonder what's really going on out there. The building is like a centrifuge of the heterogeneous fears of different people each running in some direction to save their lives. We are hiding behind a reception counter inside on the ground floor. Not very far from the tragic scene outside this court building. I guess it doesn't matter where one hides really...if death wants you it'll have you. The sound of police and fire emergency vehicle also joins the lethal orchestra outside and this continues for while. I keep peaking over the counter to see what's going on and its all really a mess out there. Could it be that we are being terrorised? Whoa! That thought brings me the complete chills and goose bumps begin to invade my skin.

Over an hour later things start to calm down and we remain in our hiding spot waiting for the right time to check what the hell is going on. The hysteria in the momentum that has been going on here has been mind fucking all of us.

After a little while it is much quieter but emergency vehicles continue to enter into the scene. The sirens keep increasing in numbers. We all stand up and my uncles and I walk ahead of everyone towards the now, demolished exit of the building.

"Damn, oh my. What the hell happened here?" My uncle asks as we enter the scene outside.

"Looks like hell if you ask me." Grandpa includes as we witness devilish works of the indifference of the human race.

People screaming from grievous pain, some who are experiencing the physical pain and some crying from emotional breakdown, fear and sadistic torment.

A wild thought hits me: Okay, decisions bare tons of power within their disciplined nature. The decisions that were meditated upon by a group of criminals led to a mid city apocalypse. The decisions made by only a number of less than twenty people led to the loss of millions to billions of rands in a short space of time. The decisions that were acted upon by a very large fraction of the worlds human population led to countless deaths of innocent people and eternal heart ache of the people who love those people. Decisions-decisions. Sadly you can't be one hundred percent safe in this life. You could wake up in the morning making the wisest of choices to get through your day only to find out that someone also made a choice that is gonna lead to your last breath. The unpredictable nature of life is quite an interesting one, I must say.