ACCIDENTAL

Chapter 13

I can't believe Pelo insisted on buying me a new outfit for church. The time reads 09:43 now and I'm driving her A45 to church. She said she has some work to do so I'll get her at her house when the service is over and done with. I've been through a lot in the last couple of months and all this dysphoria that makes me feel like a maniac doesn't seem as if it's ever gonna end. These trying times. I haven't even had a chance to just be myself in the last couple of months. When I look myself in the mirror all I see is a streaming host of problems. Days come, days go and all I see are people dying around me. What's the law doing about all these crimes anyways? Where is the government when people are being executed for their fortunes?

Okay, perhaps I should try to relax my mind a bit. Try to unwind. I mean, I'm on my way to church. To the temple. Where joy is. Where love is. Where deliverance is. Where there is an abundance of forgiveness and mercy. I'm on my way to a place where the broken gets fixed, the sick are healed, the poor get rich, where the lost are found.

While I wait for the traffic lights to turn green I connect my phone to the car radio and play my personal favorite gospel song. "Play, ancient words by Michael W Smith " I instruct Siri and she plays the song immediately...

" Holy words long preserved
For our walk in this world
They resound with God's own heart
Oh, let the ancient words impart

Words of Life, words of Hope
Give us strength, help us cope
In this world, where e'er we roam
Ancient words will guide us home

Ancient words ever true
Changing me and changing you
We have come with open hearts
Oh, let the ancient words impart..."

I stop the music at the conclusion of the song and, wow what a moving song. So much power in its lyrical content. The words in this song are liberating to the soul. You suddenly feel the ambiance of the holy spirit constricting the depths of your heart when the chorus plays. But then, I've lost so much faith in God. I have stepped away from his presence for so long. I even find myself questioning God's commands.

After parking under a tree in the church's yard I close my eyes to say a little prayer: "Oh that my ways where directed to keep thy statutes. Then shall I not be ashamed when I have respect unto all thy commands. My Father who art in heaven...I will praise thee with uprightness of heart. Bless me oh, Lord. And I pray for the forgiveness of my transgressions and the blessings of an everlasting life. In Jesus' name. Amen.

When I step into the church's entrance there are two ladies who welcome me into the temple of The Lord and I thank them both with a dazzling smile. I can't help but feel that this is truly the place to be, a place to get away from all the world's problems and predicaments.

The church is fired up with music as the people chant the gospel of the Almighty with fervor. The Praise and Worship group on the stage is performing in exhilarating joy to the Lord. While I walk into the church someone comes my way to direct me to a seat where I can sit and establish comfort.