Unlimited || Bucky Barnes

The Nightmare

(Bucky's pov)

Stoking Darby's hair reminded me of her first night here. Well, I guess that was only last night. I felt like she has been here all my life because I feel so close and protective of her. I don't know what it is about her that makes me never want to leave. She's scared and has a long ways to go, but I feel like there's more to her that keeps drawing me in. I know only a few of her favorite things, but I strive to know who she was before all of this. When she was just a quiet girl from Staten Island who would be...well, I don't know. As of now I would have ended that sentence with 'running in the snow', but I know she's much more than that.

As much as she hates herself and is afraid to do bad, she's so kind to others, when she isn't overthinking things, that is. When she's not over analyzing everything everyone is thinking, she's funny and smart. She managed to catch me watching her walk up the stairs, which I thought I was sly before, but she made me think otherwise.

She's been in her head too much. She's been in other people's heads too much. When she turns her head a certain way or glances around the room, I see myself in her. I see the uncertainty in her eyes, and the anxiousness in the way she fiddles her thumbs and always keeps her head down. I see the old me, the winter soldier me. Maybe so much that I feel compelled to help her get better, as Steve did for me.

I hope she never thinks that I am helping her because I felt obligated to. I wished she could remember that I'll always be with her because I want to.

I kept my hands in her hair and she kept her head on my chest. Her face would furrow up every so often, but I kept watch. Darby started to fidget slightly, and then her arms started flailing. She started screaming, but her words were mumbled. I attempted to hold her close to my body but she kept pushing me away and hitting me on the chest.

Then the words were getting clearer.

"Bucky!" she screamed, tears starting the fall with her eyes still closed.

"Darby! Listen to me! Darby, you're having a nightmare. You are okay," I tried to reach her in her dreaming state by calling out to her, as trying to keep her calm wasn't working.

"Bucky!" she kept crying out.

"What is going on?" Sam paced into the room, half of his face bandaged.

I held my hand up to him and tried to shoo him away. He continued watching, his feet bouncing, prepared to intervene at any moment. Steve rolled in behind Sam and pushed him enough so that he could see into the room.

I sat myself up and tried to shake her awake. The more I touched her, the more upset she seemed to become. She gripped the bed sheets and gritted her teeth, tears escaping and running to her lips. The walls began shaking slowly, and then all at once.

"Stop her Bucky!" Steve yelled.

"I tried but she won't stop shaking. This is a bad one guys, you need to get out!" I insisted, trying to pry Darby's hands off the sheets.

Footsteps and clacking went out of the room and down the hall. I unhooked the IV from my arm and sat up, giving Darby some space. Her eyes were closed, but she could sense my presence gradually subsiding. Her breathing started to get slower and slower until she heaved one last sigh and fell off the bed and onto the cold floor.

She woke up and inhaled quickly. Her eyes shot open at the ceiling, the bright window above her causing her to cover her face. She realized what had happened and closed her eyes once more, continuing to count her breaths like I taught her.

I took one step and she shifted away. I took another step and she shot herself against the wall, her hands sprawled out in the floor.

"Darby, you're okay," I reassured her, about to hold a hand out to her.

"Don't touch me!" she cried, gesturing herself away from me.

I held my hands up in defeat and stepped away. I know the feeling of waking up after a nightmare, so I backed off for a second.

She inhaled and exhaled, and her eyes darted around the room. Her eyes went everywhere except in my direction. She hung her head and covered her face. I could hear sniffling, and then watched her start to shake her head.

When she finally looked up, she gazed straight into my eyes.

"Did I hurt you?" she whispered quietly, her voice sore from screaming.

I shook my head and her face calmed.

"You had a nightmare, it was worse than before," I cautiously explained. "Was it about Steve again?"

Her eyes dropped and she shook her head quickly. Tears started to well up again and I knew that wasn't good.

"You kept crying out my name. Was I in this nightmare?"

She nodded slowly and put her head between her knees, which were pulled to her chest.

I walked towards her so I could console her, but she flinched as soon as I got closer. I furrowed my brows and she bit her lip.

"Did you hurt me in the dream? Is that why you're afraid to touch me? Is that why you were yelling for me?" I suggested, trying to come up with an answer for her so she didn't have to talk.

She pursed her lips and wiped her face.

"No. You were hurting me."