Red For Rebellious

Daddy Issues?

I watched my mom from the doorway as she brought down multiple suitcases. She looked like she was rushing and hadn’t even noticed me standing a few feet away. I didn't know what to say so I stood there looking dumbfounded. My dad wasn’t supposed to get home for another hour, and I had a feeling that he knew nothing about my mom leaving.

Or at least that’s what I assumed she’d do.

“So that’s it; just like that and you’re gone?”

My mother whipped around to face me looking half scared to death. After taking in a few deep breaths of air, she sighed. “You don’t know anything Sutton.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes,” she snapped. “You don’t know half the crap I’ve been going through—“

“Melody wasn’t just your daughter, she was my sister and my best friend,” I cut in with a hiss.

I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. My mother used to be a strong person. She could get through anything; I always looked to her when I needed to be strong. And now? Now she was quitting on her daughter and husband who had both been through as much as she’d been. It didn’t make sense.

“Losing a daughter—one like Melody—is not that same as losing a sister,” she replied.

The person standing in front of me was no longer my mother. “What would you rather I died in that car crash so you could have your perfect Melody back?”

I finally spoke the words that had been turning in my head ever since the day she died. Maybe I should have been the one to die. Maybe it was my fault our whole family was now falling apart.

“Of course I don’t want that Sutton. You’re my daughter and I love you but I need to leave for a little while.”

I realized that maybe it would be a good idea for my mom to leave. If she didn’t come back then at least it would spare us all the constant fighting. The thought of having the whole house just to me and my dad felt lonely and empty, but ever since Melody died I had felt that way anyway.

My mom stepped forwards and wrapped her arms around me for a brief hug. She grabbed her things and stepped outside, but before she left I had one thing to say.

“And don’t think you have it any worse than me, mom. She was just as special to all of us.”

I didn’t wait for my mom to answer. Instead, I slammed the door and walked into the kitchen. My dad would be home in a half hour, which left me little time to prepare his favorite meal: breakfast for dinner. I ran around the kitchen and got the ingredients for pancakes out, while putting a pan full of bacon and sausage onto the stove top. The cooking consumed my mind, but by the time everything was ready and I heard the garage door open, I was back to thinking about mom. I had no idea how my dad would react. Would he be angry like me, or would he be so upset that he’d cry? I had ever thought about my parents getting a divorce, but if my mom left that meant something was going on between them.

My father’s footsteps echoed across the empty house just as I poured him a glass of his favorite orange juice. He looked at me from across the kitchen as he unbuttoned his work suit. “She left didn’t she?”

Slowly, I nodded my head and sat down at the table. He slumped down into the chair in front of the food I had placed on the table. “So you knew she’d go? Why didn’t you try to stop her?”

“It’s complicated Sutton.”

“I can handle the truth.”

 There was a long pause before he started to speak. I almost thought he wasn’t going to tell me. “Mom’s been feeling a lot of guilt lately, she’s very—“