Our Youth Hurts So Much (SHINee Taekey)

I've Developed A Painful Secret

He had finally made it to school, an early doctor's visit making him late. Jinki felt he was pretty lucky that he came back in time for lunch. The hallways were vacant, for once everyone was either in a classroom or in the cafeteria. And Jinki had almost made it to the same place when something made him stop in his tracks.

They were... kissing, and even though Jinki felt sick to his stomach at the sight, a small smile came to him. Somewhere deep in his heart he knew this would happen, no matter how much he didn't want to believe it. Jonghyun's heart belonged to someone else, it would never be him. The kiss ended and Jinki wanted to flee, but something kept him there.

"I like you, Kibum" Jonghyun's voice reached Jinki's ears and Kibum's eyes caught Jinki's.

Everyone was frozen as Jonghyun turned around, each of them were waiting for the other to say something. Jinki's throat went dry and he feared if someone didn't say something soon he would start crying.

"Hi Jinki" Kibum spoke, overcoming from his shock.

"He-ey" Jinki cleared his throat, "What's for lunch?"

The walk to the cafeteria was awkward and quiet, just the occasional question about lunch filled the thick air.

"Hey Jinki, where have you been?" Minho asked as the three sat down at the table.

"I had a doctor's appointment" Jinki answered.

"And where'd you two run off to?" Minho asked, "You didn't even talk to Taeyeon"

"I guess I just didn't have the courage" Kibum lied, looking down at his cold food.

"But why did you and Jonghyun run off?" Minho asked and the two looked at each other.

Nothing was said for a little while, the two not sure what to tell him. Although Jinki was jealous and angry, and he decided to speak up first.

"I saw them kissing" The words left Jinki's mouth and burned his tongue.

"So is it official yet? I'm glad Jonghyun finally got the courage to tell you" Minho leaned forward, eager for their answer.

Jonghyun's face was red and Kibum was looking at him after what Minho had revealed.

"How long have you liked me?" Kibum asked and Jonghyun looked down at his food.

"Our last year of Middle School" Jonghyun answered, looking up at Kibum, "But, if you don't like me back it's okay"

That's when the bell rang, and Jinki got up immediately, although he still wouldn't be able to escape them in his next class. Kibum was silent and Minho took everyone's trays to leave the two alone. Jonghyun's gaze fell after the long silence and he grabbed his bag.

"It's okay, I wasn't expecting a yes" Jonghyun told him and began to walk to class, doing his best to catch up with Jinki.

Kibum watched him walk away, some kind of guilt washing over him. He gathered his things and walked to his class alone. Kibum was lucky that his teacher seemed to never noticed anything. He was able to slip into class and into his seat without being told he was late.

Jonghyun's seat is beside Kibum, and despite the situation, Jonghyun stayed in the same seat instead of moving like Kibum thought he would. From the way Jonghyun held his head down, focusing on something, anything, on his desk or in his lap, Kibum could tell he was trying to conceal his emotions.

"Are you okay?" Kibum whispered and Jonghyun's head popped up to look at him.

"Uh, yeah... Yeah I'll be fine" Jonghyun answered, looking back down at his hands.

"I'm sorry" Kibum told him, wanting to rub his back or something to console him, but he knew that would only make it worse.

"Don't be, it's not your fault I fell for you" Jonghyun told him, his eyes out of sight of the younger.

"I just feel bad, like I should give you a chance" Kibum replied, "But I know I'm just not the one for you"

"What do you mean?" Jonghyun asked, using sleeves to wipe his eyes.

"There is someone for everyone, and I have this feeling I'm not yours" Kibum told him, "But I think I know who is"

"But right now, all my heart wants is you" Jonghyun admitted, and Kibum felt his heart ache.